There once lived a young prince. Being born in royal blood, he was supposed to be given the honour of the throne and rulership of the country. He was expected to succeed and bring peace to the lands over which his kind has ruled over for centuries and centuries. But that wasn't to be.
One day, the young prince walked past the castle gates into the peasant lands and there he met strange people. These people wore different clothes from him, had a different life. One with little riches, but a whole lot of smiles.
What he saw touched him so much, he could feel so much love from these people, all the happiness they had in them of a simple life, where it was fun. Love, family love, laughter, being there for one another, somewhere amidst the rule of the tyrannous king.
The young prince frequently went out of the city gates, just to simply watch these people play and live, so much so that he decided that he was to never return back into the high and dark castle walls again.
Now outside, he vowed never to return to the haunted fortress. Inside, lay many secrets. Stories of tyranny unheard of before, treachery and betrayal all unspoken of, violence and petty squabbles turned bad, all these, left unleaked through the walls. Stories that the prince know are true, but men know as myths. But those that escape were whispers of deviant juvenile fables of the young prince, echoing throughout the village.
Cornered and homeless, the young prince found a young man. He was kind enough to let the prince seek shelter, and even gave the prince something to eat everyday. He even gave the prince 5 gold pieces a day. Feeling sorry, the prince helped to plough the lawns and occasionally cleaned up the stable, clearing the ever growing pile of hay, silently redeeming the debt that he now owed.
Every night, the prince would cry himself to sleep, wishing that he was a gallant and fierce knight, eager to end the rule of the vicious king and free the people. "These people are blind. They don't know what a good life there is outside these walls. They don't know how lost and free life can be."
The prince would awaken after this dream, realizing that he, was the one that's lost. Lost, in his fantasy of ever waking up and getting out of this rule. But he should stop wishing or dream of it. For all the endless nights and tears are building. And he knows he's not going to get what he wants: To be home, to be equal. And for the king to retire, and never awake.
Because it only happens in fairy tales.
Thursday, December 29
Wednesday, December 14
LiVinG AnoTheR DaY In DisGuiSe.
For those of you who know, want to know, feel like knowing, or just happen to know; yes, i have been kicked out of my own house by my own parents. So im no longer living with my parents nor accepting any money or love from them. But it doesnt mean i dont disregard them as my parents. Maybe to some extent my father, but i have always loved mama. Mama, i love you.
They say a leopard can never change its spots. Well at least it can run.
They say a leopard can never change its spots. Well at least it can run.
Sunday, December 4
Just For Fun!
Ayang! Don't Lose Your Handphone again okay! I see your parents buy for u they not heart pain, i heart pain. haha! Remember, money doesn't come easy! So remember yah! I love you!
Tuesday, November 29
Lend me your courage to stand up and fight.
Fight for honor, fight for your life.
Pray to god that our side is right.
You know we won but still we lose, until i make it home to you.
I see your mother still in tears we grew up so fast where did those years go.
Memories wont let you cry unless i don't return tonight.
Just thought that this is a beautiful, beautiful, beauyouteefool song. For those of you who don't know its M.I.A. by AvengedSevenfold and its about war. The lyrics are damn powerful i tell you. Makes me imagine what it must be like if we actually mobilize our NS for war. Its then when pain isn't love.
"Fight for honor, fight for your life.
Pray to god that our side is right."
Oh well, i wanted to say that everywhere in the world, people have different mindsets. Different people like different things, like music, behaviours, attitudes, and even religion. Of course its true that everyone in a religion would think its true. But do you even know if yours is?
Don't get me wrong, i'm still deeply rooted in mine, even though i may not be acting that way most of the time, i'm still comfy in the steps that i take. And if i do go astray, i know i'll find my way back. Or burn in hell trying.
"You know we won but still we lose, until i make it home to you."
Arguements are still arguments at the end of the day. Its never possible to not quarrel at all, especially in love. Winning/losing doesn't mean much to someone who's not participating in the argument. For the sharpest of screams can never pierce into deaf ears. I think that everyone has something to learn from each other and maybe i do have alot to learn about responsibility, but no matter if things are good or bad, its always comforting when we have each other.
"I see your mother still in tears we grew up so fast where did those years go.
Memories wont let you cry unless i don't return tonight"
The only thing i can explain from this is that I love you. People can say what they like, but i want to believe that i do love you, more than your mom. I love you. And i'll never leave you. The rest is our little story. I love you michyfun!
Pray to god that our side is right.
You know we won but still we lose, until i make it home to you.
I see your mother still in tears we grew up so fast where did those years go.
Memories wont let you cry unless i don't return tonight.
Just thought that this is a beautiful, beautiful, beauyouteefool song. For those of you who don't know its M.I.A. by AvengedSevenfold and its about war. The lyrics are damn powerful i tell you. Makes me imagine what it must be like if we actually mobilize our NS for war. Its then when pain isn't love.
"Fight for honor, fight for your life.
Pray to god that our side is right."
Oh well, i wanted to say that everywhere in the world, people have different mindsets. Different people like different things, like music, behaviours, attitudes, and even religion. Of course its true that everyone in a religion would think its true. But do you even know if yours is?
Don't get me wrong, i'm still deeply rooted in mine, even though i may not be acting that way most of the time, i'm still comfy in the steps that i take. And if i do go astray, i know i'll find my way back. Or burn in hell trying.
"You know we won but still we lose, until i make it home to you."
Arguements are still arguments at the end of the day. Its never possible to not quarrel at all, especially in love. Winning/losing doesn't mean much to someone who's not participating in the argument. For the sharpest of screams can never pierce into deaf ears. I think that everyone has something to learn from each other and maybe i do have alot to learn about responsibility, but no matter if things are good or bad, its always comforting when we have each other.
"I see your mother still in tears we grew up so fast where did those years go.
Memories wont let you cry unless i don't return tonight"
The only thing i can explain from this is that I love you. People can say what they like, but i want to believe that i do love you, more than your mom. I love you. And i'll never leave you. The rest is our little story. I love you michyfun!
Friday, November 18
bad week.
if i were to go to hell my punishment would be to live this week over and over. i want to go to heaven.
I've Waited As My Time's Elapsed.
come clean.
one major problem solved is one big weight off our chests. No longer am I "THE A".
trust me, its a major step which i've never been through, with anyone. coz jenny, alfred, shah and sarinah just gave skeptics a major kick in the nuts. parents are just amazing.
coz no matter what we say, somehow, somewhere, we love our parents. and we want them to accept our love for each other. and they have.
in the distance, bells are waiting to be rung. but let us be stronger, as the path is harder now. let's go through this together. be strong, and i'll always be by your side. share your pain with me...coz we're both in this. let's douse this flame, of individuality. for in my hands, i have snubbed a sweet reminder.
Because life, isn't that miserable when you're around.
01 had a wonderful time today. i found out that marketing isn't for me, and jun impressed me a whole lot. this memory, is forever "frozen" in time as the day michy's drink worked a business like magic.
the one best thing i got lately was a ticket. not to idn, or some design conference or a movie, but the tickets, to book the life with this woman Michelle Fun Lai Ling or self-declared "Misha Bte Alfian". she's mine okay! i book liao!
now, shut up with the comments already.
one major problem solved is one big weight off our chests. No longer am I "THE A".
trust me, its a major step which i've never been through, with anyone. coz jenny, alfred, shah and sarinah just gave skeptics a major kick in the nuts. parents are just amazing.
coz no matter what we say, somehow, somewhere, we love our parents. and we want them to accept our love for each other. and they have.
in the distance, bells are waiting to be rung. but let us be stronger, as the path is harder now. let's go through this together. be strong, and i'll always be by your side. share your pain with me...coz we're both in this. let's douse this flame, of individuality. for in my hands, i have snubbed a sweet reminder.
Because life, isn't that miserable when you're around.
01 had a wonderful time today. i found out that marketing isn't for me, and jun impressed me a whole lot. this memory, is forever "frozen" in time as the day michy's drink worked a business like magic.
the one best thing i got lately was a ticket. not to idn, or some design conference or a movie, but the tickets, to book the life with this woman Michelle Fun Lai Ling or self-declared "Misha Bte Alfian". she's mine okay! i book liao!
now, shut up with the comments already.
Wednesday, November 9
this might get a little heavy.
i probably have no right to say this, but well.
-.bitch.backstab.sulk.hate.pessimistic.happy.sour.nullify.correct.-
one thing hasnt changed, no names mentioned.
though you're samesame now, you're different. we both know it.
-.bitch.backstab.sulk.hate.pessimistic.happy.sour.nullify.correct.-
one thing hasnt changed, no names mentioned.
though you're samesame now, you're different. we both know it.
Friday, November 4
so close.
firstly, happy deepavali and selamat hari raya to all! wow i'm rich this week! well kinda, thanks to all the lovely aunties and uncles at ian's house yesterday! surprisingly it was only a quarter of his entire family tree, but that was more than enough to get me reeeeely nervous. not alot of things get me so scared. well they made me feel right at home... they were reely nice! ian said his relatives were congratulating his dad. goodness i just turned 19. its so embarrassing. ian said his family has given me their blessings, and i thought: blessings? for what? hmmm well maybe i shouldnt ask. that dont mean i dont love him. i love him!
hari raya this year was fun. yaye next time we can celebrate hari raya AND chinese new year! and at christmas we'll drive down orchard road and admire the lights. or we could put up a little christmas tree at home!
well, my parents know and they dont stop me. can i consider it blessing? we'll take pics when we go visiting with the rest... then y'all can see my very own kebaya! haha selamat hari raya peeps!
Wednesday, October 19
dum de deee dum.
heya peeps! missed us? well dont worry the school hols are ending! *pffft*. anyways! guess wut! i got a kebaya! yah, my very own so i dont need to borrow from dzaf this year... thanks dzaf! anyways IT'S BLACK AND PINK! haha... wut else could it be? well i'm ULTRA nervous about visiting this year. (yah i'm haram right) i'm scared of parents.
well as we all know, Zombie Promises slash Our Zombie Promises made it to the finals of stage fight 2005! the finals will be held on 29 October, at Zombie Rock Cafe... it's supposed to be zodiac club or something by now... well contact us if you want tickets okay! ian's gonna be playing!
so wut have we been up to these holidays? well nothing much... i now know a whole lot about cao cao and meng huo and zhuge liang and liu bei although i dont play dynasty warriors 5. hmmm i wonder who does. ian and i actually joined the school's seize the day contest! haha yah its the ribbon ribbon pop-up designed by shimin and
oh guess wut! ian and i have got new addies! its andisyx and mishinye. yup, 6 sept, thats our anniversary date! hmmm lotsa thoughts on 6 and 9 huh... you grossies. haha yes kc we finally decided on matching mails. oh yah thanks to kc who gave us the invites to gmail since APRIL 10 2005. haha... well add us on messenger if you havent!
** andi and michelle are currently working on their OAAG competition submission, and are very hungry people by day. check back for more updates! muhahahahaa...
Sunday, October 2
Now take a trip with me but don't be surprised when things aren't what they seem...
Oh hey. I'm wondering how i can't see all this shit. This page seems all screwed up to me...but i've blogged in notepad and i just copy and paste and voila! okay. yah...aniwaes that's not why i'm here.
I just want everybody to know that i'm on a bad habit lately. I've been a very bad boy. =O no, seriously.
And who knows, I may even compete with Sean for the length of my nose. haha...i'm just kidding man.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, i've become a compulsive liar. I have this keen habit to lie to my darling wife to hide her from truths that i wouldn't want her to know.
And i think it irritates her when i say, "eh why u like to lie arh?" Believe me, its just another of my nonsensical jokes that i play to make a fool out of myself. Maybe she took it seriously coz she used to own up to it. Maybe that's why it seems so convenient to blame her and not myself and be satisfied that she's gonna take the blame no matter what. I'm sorry.
I haven't eaten PEANUT BUTTER KIT KAT coz i think its kinda ex. 1.50 for a lousy bar of chocolates is not worth it. Furthermore, Rachel said it sucks. Although i may like peanut butter why risk it and waste money rite? So i said i ate it liao arh, and sucked in all my cravings. That's the only way you wouldn't waste money on me rite?
Yes, i didn't want you to stay up and watch Chelsea Against Liverpool coz its an awful waste of time. Aniwaes you were so excited to watch "Ray" and get back 6 bucks what. What's the use of wanting to accompany me when i'm going to be so glued to the screen, expecting to see Jose and his lousy team to lose (Chelsea sucks btw). I don't want you to go through all these trouble, i don't. Coz in the end you're gonna feel like you're the one that's been giving ALOT and me just thinking yeah, she does...but having no clue as to what extent it was.
Look i know you give alot in this relationship. I'm so grateful to you, and it makes me love you even more. But sometimes you just gotta take time to take care of yourself too alrite? Or you'll just one day drop and die, or immensely start to lose alot of weight and not be round round anymore. =X It's just that...i don't like it when people spend lotsa money on me. I just feel....i duno...its all weird this feeling. I just don't like people to spend money on me. I'd rather they save and buy themselves something nice. I'll be happy for them! I promise!
So, i still love you. And i won't lie to you anymore k. If i tell you something is a waste of money, i probably think it is, and money should only be spent on the wonderful people in this world. Such as the amazing woman herself, my darling wife. BABY Ni Ji Shi Wo De Wei Yi!
(ps. Rules inapplicable to GUNDAMs! Woohoo!)
I just want everybody to know that i'm on a bad habit lately. I've been a very bad boy. =O no, seriously.
And who knows, I may even compete with Sean for the length of my nose. haha...i'm just kidding man.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, i've become a compulsive liar. I have this keen habit to lie to my darling wife to hide her from truths that i wouldn't want her to know.
And i think it irritates her when i say, "eh why u like to lie arh?" Believe me, its just another of my nonsensical jokes that i play to make a fool out of myself. Maybe she took it seriously coz she used to own up to it. Maybe that's why it seems so convenient to blame her and not myself and be satisfied that she's gonna take the blame no matter what. I'm sorry.
I haven't eaten PEANUT BUTTER KIT KAT coz i think its kinda ex. 1.50 for a lousy bar of chocolates is not worth it. Furthermore, Rachel said it sucks. Although i may like peanut butter why risk it and waste money rite? So i said i ate it liao arh, and sucked in all my cravings. That's the only way you wouldn't waste money on me rite?
Yes, i didn't want you to stay up and watch Chelsea Against Liverpool coz its an awful waste of time. Aniwaes you were so excited to watch "Ray" and get back 6 bucks what. What's the use of wanting to accompany me when i'm going to be so glued to the screen, expecting to see Jose and his lousy team to lose (Chelsea sucks btw). I don't want you to go through all these trouble, i don't. Coz in the end you're gonna feel like you're the one that's been giving ALOT and me just thinking yeah, she does...but having no clue as to what extent it was.
Look i know you give alot in this relationship. I'm so grateful to you, and it makes me love you even more. But sometimes you just gotta take time to take care of yourself too alrite? Or you'll just one day drop and die, or immensely start to lose alot of weight and not be round round anymore. =X It's just that...i don't like it when people spend lotsa money on me. I just feel....i duno...its all weird this feeling. I just don't like people to spend money on me. I'd rather they save and buy themselves something nice. I'll be happy for them! I promise!
So, i still love you. And i won't lie to you anymore k. If i tell you something is a waste of money, i probably think it is, and money should only be spent on the wonderful people in this world. Such as the amazing woman herself, my darling wife. BABY Ni Ji Shi Wo De Wei Yi!
(ps. Rules inapplicable to GUNDAMs! Woohoo!)
Monday, September 26
piccies... of us!
hey all! haha yep i decided to put up piccies! hmmm i tried to stick to the timeline as much as possible... enjoy yourselves yeah!
taken on the first few days of school... see yanting behind there!
eh! this pic has sentimental value! haha i'm sure eugene has the photoshopped version somewhere.
did we just pull the same face with the same dude?
'old' shimin shimin! haha
this is the best pic i have of nick.
... at sentosa! hey i remember sweeshan's hair extensions!
taken at eugene's september 11 concert... that was when leon found out about us! thus...
our tribute to leon.
VDS assignment 2...
birthday '04
new year's at eugenes place! thats the only pic we got.
kepo blocking the sunrise.
*eeks*
:(#
my two favourite people.
christmas '04! i had to put this one up :)
... and gothic day... courtesy of kc!
yes we were bored.
the piccie everybody sees...
and the piccies that came after.
taken at toa payoh bus interchange the best place to be...
... taking lots and lots of photos.
ian spent the whole day at a wedding and PLAYING TRANSFORMERS courtesy of iz so i had 13 hours to upload all these photos online... hmmmm someone once told me he didnt like taking photos! well hope y'all liked that little gallery! oh yeah, and thanks to all those whose faces appeared up there, for letting us put it up :) okay thats all i have for today... keep checking back for more photos of us yeah! haha...
Tuesday, September 20
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Today's list:
1 huge tub of tuna tomato pasta
3 pieces of chicken chop
1 overturned black pepper sauce
2 lurking crows
1 hour
1 last minute invitation
4 nice attendeeS
2 bbq steamboat shops
2 daytona races
1 loss at panic park
6 slices of wonderful cake
many plates of food and drinks
0 disturbances and unhappiness
2 times...
And
1 ABSOLUTELY AMAZING WOMAN
Equals a very very happy me.
What a wonderful birthday. Though i still think you all shouldnt spend money on me. Yall rock lah. *bows* We love you all.
I still want my present that i asked for in my previous entry!
1 huge tub of tuna tomato pasta
3 pieces of chicken chop
1 overturned black pepper sauce
2 lurking crows
1 hour
1 last minute invitation
4 nice attendeeS
2 bbq steamboat shops
2 daytona races
1 loss at panic park
6 slices of wonderful cake
many plates of food and drinks
0 disturbances and unhappiness
2 times...
And
1 ABSOLUTELY AMAZING WOMAN
Equals a very very happy me.
What a wonderful birthday. Though i still think you all shouldnt spend money on me. Yall rock lah. *bows* We love you all.
I still want my present that i asked for in my previous entry!
Sunday, September 18
Kuyashisa wo koraete namida ni furuete
No matter what, i love you. And though we haven't been talking well these past few months, we have been changing. In the end, we have turned into each other and we hardly recognize who's that in the mirror, yayan or michy.
Its true that if you spend too much time with each other you'll turn into the other person. And there it is, this other person, whom is so different from that person one year ago. But we'll make it. Coz no matter how different we are, we're SAME SAME.
No matter how i joke about your weight, my heart is heavy everytime we fight. In you i see my whole world, and i don't even have to move an inch. I love everything about you: the way you worry about me, the way you try to wake me up but sometimes fail and get guilty, the way you say "yah of course it was me.", the way you tell me that you wanna get tattoos and pierce your lips and scare my mom, the way you actually hate me but you don't wanna admit it, the way you always pick up the phone and say "HELLO!" so absolutely cute-ly, the way you always get worried about your mom and dad finding out by ALWAYS leaving obvious clues, the way that you make fun of the A, the way you pout your lips and crease your chin and beg me to flick you, the way you say "see ah see" when i punch your hand, the way you always wanna surprise me and come up with ways to love you and recieve uninteresting reactions, the way you got those pains in your tummy about everything i don't feel and all these 1 million and 1 ways that i have found that that i am blessed to be with an angel that lights up my life.
"Kawa no nagare wa kyou mo hageshii keredo
Kimi no te wa hanasanai
Itsumo kono mune no naka no ai wo shinjiteiyou
Yume ga kanau made..."
I'm sorry but i love you. And not you, not anyone, can change that. You're my bestest best friend, and i love you, not because i'm with you. But just because you're you. And you're irritatingly tickling my heart. This entry isn't to show you how pathetic i am, but for you to know that i need you. And i know that you need me too. there's nothing wrong with that. you're as deserving as anyone in love, and you fucking know it. so all you losers better attend my wedding in future, and eat my roti kirai, where i marry this oh-so-wonderful woman, who brightens up everyone's lives.
All i want for my birthday is Michelle Fun Lai Ling, for the rest of my life. So you all know what to get me okay! I expect this present kids! =)
Its true that if you spend too much time with each other you'll turn into the other person. And there it is, this other person, whom is so different from that person one year ago. But we'll make it. Coz no matter how different we are, we're SAME SAME.
No matter how i joke about your weight, my heart is heavy everytime we fight. In you i see my whole world, and i don't even have to move an inch. I love everything about you: the way you worry about me, the way you try to wake me up but sometimes fail and get guilty, the way you say "yah of course it was me.", the way you tell me that you wanna get tattoos and pierce your lips and scare my mom, the way you actually hate me but you don't wanna admit it, the way you always pick up the phone and say "HELLO!" so absolutely cute-ly, the way you always get worried about your mom and dad finding out by ALWAYS leaving obvious clues, the way that you make fun of the A, the way you pout your lips and crease your chin and beg me to flick you, the way you say "see ah see" when i punch your hand, the way you always wanna surprise me and come up with ways to love you and recieve uninteresting reactions, the way you got those pains in your tummy about everything i don't feel and all these 1 million and 1 ways that i have found that that i am blessed to be with an angel that lights up my life.
"Kawa no nagare wa kyou mo hageshii keredo
Kimi no te wa hanasanai
Itsumo kono mune no naka no ai wo shinjiteiyou
Yume ga kanau made..."
I'm sorry but i love you. And not you, not anyone, can change that. You're my bestest best friend, and i love you, not because i'm with you. But just because you're you. And you're irritatingly tickling my heart. This entry isn't to show you how pathetic i am, but for you to know that i need you. And i know that you need me too. there's nothing wrong with that. you're as deserving as anyone in love, and you fucking know it. so all you losers better attend my wedding in future, and eat my roti kirai, where i marry this oh-so-wonderful woman, who brightens up everyone's lives.
All i want for my birthday is Michelle Fun Lai Ling, for the rest of my life. So you all know what to get me okay! I expect this present kids! =)
Wednesday, September 7
We're Cool, In Denial
hey everyone! yesterday was our one year anniversary! i wanna thank everyone who has made this past year soo wonderful especially to my baby. and what a wonderful anniversary it turned out to be!
so, all dressed up in yellow coz i really wanted her to be a little happy that we are wearing bright colours...since we ALWAYS wear dark colours and dark colours are MINE. ALL MINE!!! bwahahaha. aniwaes, we PLANNED to skip BDS. suddenly ms.huei came in and i just walked out. she duno i GANGSTER. i know she saw me but if she was gonna scold me for chabot she gotta wait till tomorrow! coz its my anniversary and i enjoy it how i want to.
so, we went to class and sat in for "Learning to Love" presentation where i presented first. my concept i didn't get to explain fully, but i guessed that it wouldn't make much difference if i did, coz i had lotsa colours! all i could remember is shang saying that don't bother about the cost of publication first and just design, and so i did. i didnt think about it too...what the heck. i hope they don't penalize me too bad. abit can ah but don't so bad can already. LOOK I'M ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT MARKS. why? coz my marks suck.
oh well, i just wouldn't let it spoil my wonderful day, and after asking ahmad about my strike freedom. I'm so proud of it...coz i took like the whole weekend to do! yah big deal but, it meant alot to me considering that i can't afford model kits to buy so i create an imaginary one that i can hold on to everyday! =) gundams rock!
so i took her to Eatz-19 for a wonderful three course meal that burned quite a hole in my wallet, but oh yeah it was worth it. it was a table for just the two of us, where they played crappy love songs that my mother probably loved. the table and interior decor was probably inspired by her aniwae, being dark red and matching sequin tablecloth. there were hot minah waiters in tight cheongsams serving your every need. i just thought, wah, this is the life...before i drowned in her love once again that evening.
we then took a neoprint, and according to her, i look weird coz i look neckless. so we wanted to take another, but somehow we couldnt agree on one...coz i'm completely clueless and she kept choosing weird ones...to me that is. haha! this reaction was nicely met with cold stares from the ahlians that were holding up the shutters, waiting for our grand exit. in the end, we didn't take any. who cares? we're royalty that day dammit.
lastly, we ended the night with going to visit our loving grandfather. the one who's always sober but still stands upright for everyone. to him i respect. wa caya sama lu, MERLION! oh, for those who didn't know, it was at the merlion on ice-skating night that this chapter in life began. fond memories passed us by, talking about what had and hadn't changed. we argued on what did, but what didn't....was our love.
I love you.
so, all dressed up in yellow coz i really wanted her to be a little happy that we are wearing bright colours...since we ALWAYS wear dark colours and dark colours are MINE. ALL MINE!!! bwahahaha. aniwaes, we PLANNED to skip BDS. suddenly ms.huei came in and i just walked out. she duno i GANGSTER. i know she saw me but if she was gonna scold me for chabot she gotta wait till tomorrow! coz its my anniversary and i enjoy it how i want to.
so, we went to class and sat in for "Learning to Love" presentation where i presented first. my concept i didn't get to explain fully, but i guessed that it wouldn't make much difference if i did, coz i had lotsa colours! all i could remember is shang saying that don't bother about the cost of publication first and just design, and so i did. i didnt think about it too...what the heck. i hope they don't penalize me too bad. abit can ah but don't so bad can already. LOOK I'M ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT MARKS. why? coz my marks suck.
oh well, i just wouldn't let it spoil my wonderful day, and after asking ahmad about my strike freedom. I'm so proud of it...coz i took like the whole weekend to do! yah big deal but, it meant alot to me considering that i can't afford model kits to buy so i create an imaginary one that i can hold on to everyday! =) gundams rock!
so i took her to Eatz-19 for a wonderful three course meal that burned quite a hole in my wallet, but oh yeah it was worth it. it was a table for just the two of us, where they played crappy love songs that my mother probably loved. the table and interior decor was probably inspired by her aniwae, being dark red and matching sequin tablecloth. there were hot minah waiters in tight cheongsams serving your every need. i just thought, wah, this is the life...before i drowned in her love once again that evening.
we then took a neoprint, and according to her, i look weird coz i look neckless. so we wanted to take another, but somehow we couldnt agree on one...coz i'm completely clueless and she kept choosing weird ones...to me that is. haha! this reaction was nicely met with cold stares from the ahlians that were holding up the shutters, waiting for our grand exit. in the end, we didn't take any. who cares? we're royalty that day dammit.
lastly, we ended the night with going to visit our loving grandfather. the one who's always sober but still stands upright for everyone. to him i respect. wa caya sama lu, MERLION! oh, for those who didn't know, it was at the merlion on ice-skating night that this chapter in life began. fond memories passed us by, talking about what had and hadn't changed. we argued on what did, but what didn't....was our love.
I love you.
Tuesday, September 6
Monday, September 5
pardon my deliverable.
to: you
- you wont get married; the love song is a solo and you know it.
- you burn your bridges so easily, you dont need protection, you need anger management.
- you sucked at the imitation, but you know it was enough the compliment.
- you tell me your love is transient. wont you make it happen?
- romeo and juliet died in three days. thankfully they didnt know each others' selfish ways.
- watch your tenses and past participles, i understand vulgarities dont follow such principles.
- you are so sure what is true and what is not, what if you what you thought was true was not?
- happiness is so hard to find, ever thought about it actually being in the mind?
wow, they rhymed.
typical of many blogs, maybe i'm too cowardly.
i refer to so many people, but i speak of none.
could you decipher the pun?
*what am i?*
Wednesday, August 31
On My SweeT Revenge, Its Yours For The Taking, Its In The Making
Does satisfaction equals to happiness?
Today in DET2, Shang talked about happiness. Its all about lau's ideals on what happiness is, i mean if everything that we did had to be so scientific and analysed, then we might as well praise the INCREDIBLE TALES professor dude as our holy man. What really is happiness? Is it satisfaction?
People find happiness in many different ways. Some live with people under their shoes, others make up for it by blinding themselves and actually living in their own fantasy worlds, others buy their happiness, others just roam around as zombies that feast, trying to prove their worth. Some may have made terrible mistakes and actually create worlds around with explainations. I am guilty of some of the above, but i'm happy. Damn right i am.
In the end, who's to decide who's inferior? Who's to decide who's a less better person, whose ideals are better or what's not. People can live to do a wrong thing and be at conflict inside themselves but readily hide their doubts in a hail of carefully aimed defensive shots.
Even blunt tickling feathers can turn to piercing bullets if recieved wrongly.
Coz in the end, I'm sorry.
Enough about that. No matter what others may say, I'm blind and I'm happy. In all ways. Guess I'm a bitch believing in this love. And its worth it, even under fatty acids and glycerol...coz i've found what i need.
Today in DET2, Shang talked about happiness. Its all about lau's ideals on what happiness is, i mean if everything that we did had to be so scientific and analysed, then we might as well praise the INCREDIBLE TALES professor dude as our holy man. What really is happiness? Is it satisfaction?
People find happiness in many different ways. Some live with people under their shoes, others make up for it by blinding themselves and actually living in their own fantasy worlds, others buy their happiness, others just roam around as zombies that feast, trying to prove their worth. Some may have made terrible mistakes and actually create worlds around with explainations. I am guilty of some of the above, but i'm happy. Damn right i am.
In the end, who's to decide who's inferior? Who's to decide who's a less better person, whose ideals are better or what's not. People can live to do a wrong thing and be at conflict inside themselves but readily hide their doubts in a hail of carefully aimed defensive shots.
Even blunt tickling feathers can turn to piercing bullets if recieved wrongly.
Coz in the end, I'm sorry.
Enough about that. No matter what others may say, I'm blind and I'm happy. In all ways. Guess I'm a bitch believing in this love. And its worth it, even under fatty acids and glycerol...coz i've found what i need.
Tuesday, August 30
WhY Do TheY ALwAYs SeNd ThE PooR?
hey there. to everyone around, its the end of our BDS latest assignment! i've been working my ass of juggling this damn thing and working my finger to the bone learning the two kick-ass songs we're gonna play this friday night. my fingers are full of blisters and my palms are peeling...but all in the name of ROCK.
Stage fight. That's my chance this season. Gotta make the best out of it. Thanks to all DCMD supporters, though you all may not appreciate the songs that i play, your support means alot to me. I hope we make it past to the finals. don't know if im good enough. gig-ing brings back lotsa old memories...and with this band, i'm gonna make it happen. as far as we can...though the fog's still thick, the road may be long.
today, i made michy cry, made kenn angry and got to know someone betta. michyfun, i'm so sorry. i know you're stressed and all rite, but maybe you were a little hard on me. i came back all the way and took the bloody train back with miss huei and ying wei ALONE. i think that was miserable enough, imagine how it must be for me when i found out that there was more to it then just clicking print and submission. her phone was also unbelievably invisible today. i wonder why.
today kenn got angry with me coz of something i said. i cant put my finger on what it is. but what i said must have made him damn upset. was it something i said about him being rich? if it is it was completely unintentional. was quite strange, he came over then started to wait for us then all of a sudden they walked away liao. well just wanna say that i appreciate you waiting for us kids while we were burning them shit and all but at least tell me what happened aye.
you, enlightening. been awhile since we talked huh. but its okay. i'll just see you around man.
what an exhausting day. i still love her anyhow. oh btw, ugly shoes.
Stage fight. That's my chance this season. Gotta make the best out of it. Thanks to all DCMD supporters, though you all may not appreciate the songs that i play, your support means alot to me. I hope we make it past to the finals. don't know if im good enough. gig-ing brings back lotsa old memories...and with this band, i'm gonna make it happen. as far as we can...though the fog's still thick, the road may be long.
today, i made michy cry, made kenn angry and got to know someone betta. michyfun, i'm so sorry. i know you're stressed and all rite, but maybe you were a little hard on me. i came back all the way and took the bloody train back with miss huei and ying wei ALONE. i think that was miserable enough, imagine how it must be for me when i found out that there was more to it then just clicking print and submission. her phone was also unbelievably invisible today. i wonder why.
today kenn got angry with me coz of something i said. i cant put my finger on what it is. but what i said must have made him damn upset. was it something i said about him being rich? if it is it was completely unintentional. was quite strange, he came over then started to wait for us then all of a sudden they walked away liao. well just wanna say that i appreciate you waiting for us kids while we were burning them shit and all but at least tell me what happened aye.
you, enlightening. been awhile since we talked huh. but its okay. i'll just see you around man.
what an exhausting day. i still love her anyhow. oh btw, ugly shoes.
Wednesday, August 10
<[all>this="html"<./shit>;
heya peeps! haha i know i havent updated for a reely long time... we've all been busy these days huh. well lookie! we've got a new skin! i dont know if it can be viewed on Mac, though. oh the tagboard's finally working too. kae i like spent the whole of national day at home debugging this lah. not as if i have no life, but i've been sick the past 2 days... i know lotsa people have been falling sick too! here's a big get well soon to all of you.
GET WELL SOON!
okay that was reely lame. the more important stuff: TODAY'S FAZLI'S BIRTHDAY! happy birthday faz! actually... it was yesterday cuz its like 2am already.i bet you enjoyed yesterday more than me! my butt aches from sitting at the comp for so long. haha i bet someone else enjoyed national day too... hmmm i wonder who that is! okay i wont put it up on the billboard here. happy anniversary to that someone. here's wishing you two lots more to come! *wink wink*
ian and i just passed our 11th month anniversary! WOOHOO! yah it was a pretty quiet one, but still as precious. happy anniversary ian. we dont have fireworks to celebrate... but i'll bring sparklers next time okay! i was just readin "Learning to Love" for the assignment. ever thought about what love is? it's so cliché... how each time you hold hands you get that clench in your stomach and that warmth on your shoulders that gives you goosebumps all over... but then you think about it and you realise you've been holding hands for almost a year. what's there to doubt, and what's there to hate anymore? what for hold on to skepticism to protect yourself and hurt the other? what about those who 'hope you wake up' or think 'you dont have enough love for a relationship'? what about them. i wish them well, and hope they get to see what i've seen, and love like i love, and be loved so wonderfully in return.
getting sappy, aren't i? i got it sorted out. i love my hubby (i dont call him that anyway *eeks*) i hope you find someone who loves you as much as he loves me :)
ian's gonna be performing at Zodiac! it's a metal gig thingy so all ye metallic people, you are invited! okay i'm so not sonorous or shiny but i'm going anyways cuz my baby's gonna be playing! yaye yaye. the things people do for love. haha! okay i so need sleep. go find some love yeah.
Tuesday, August 2
Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate the lives of everyone...
Been a while hasnt it people? This blog's kinda bugged and has alot of errors and is laggy so like very lazy wanna update ah. Oh well, today i had an interesting experience that i thought i would never want to forget. today michy wasn't hungry so i decided since we had no where to go, i might as well go all the way to aljunied to send my baby home.
along the way we got really hungry and decided to stop by the carrot cake stall at circuit road that we frequent, though it was a "dangerous" area and later on we sat a lil while at the park bench before we went home and saw lionel. oh well, michy wasn't lying about him that's all i can say. haha~
okay here's the main part of my day. i was damn tired when i reached ang mo kio that day on the way back after the tiring 135 journey, and i wanted to piss, dammit but the toilet was washing when i wanted to enter. I was escorted by this cleaner who could barely speak english and merely said ,"10:35". i guessed it meant that i had to come back at that time to take a leak. well i decided to hold it in and wait till admiralty. in my mind i just imagined my legs giving way and my bladder bursting as it hits the floor. i had to get a seat.
My hopes were crushed when the first cabin of the train whizzed past showing the sheer multitudes of people that were sardined in them. ayang was right about complaining to smrt. These thoughts were turned around when i saw the cabin that i was standing at, arriving completely vacant. Nearly at least, with corner seats and standing room. The doors closed and i was on my way home.
AND THEN I SAW IT. I was the only one standing/seating within an area of about 1.5m by 1.5m. The two "couple" seats in the corner was only occupied by this indian muslim-ish man who many would deem as "terrorist". And there on the floor in front of me was a black opaque garbage bag. All alone. On its own. The contents on the inside of the bag as i can see based on the shape of the exterior of the bag were several cylinders.
I started to look around me. The couple seats were only seated by this holy man. The corner seats behind the glasses that i was leaning on this, and the one opposite, were vacant. There was no one standing in that area. And in the connecting cabin section, people were pushing away trying to squeeze into that area. My mind thought of only one thing. "BOMB".
Then it hit me. I wasnt ready to die. Not like this. In my mind, i thought of these few people. And if i thought of it before i died, it must mean something...don't you think? Here are things i need to say, to many people, I'm going to address to a few so if you think something applies to you, it probably is meant for you.
Dear loving friends:
Friend #1. I don't hate you. But i don't like you either.
Friend #2. I want to play well, but we'll never succeed if you'll never try. I believe in this as much as you.
Friend #3. Be strong. In yourself, not to other people. Not everyone is your competition. Life is tough when people don't like you, but its tougher when you don't like people.
Friend #4. I've moved on. Stop all this gangsterism nonsense, you were once one of my closest friends, though we had lots of bad memories.
Friend #5. We have our own lives, i have mine you have yours. But at the end of the day, i'm still here if EVER you need me. And i miss you.
Friend #6. Try to get out of this before its too late. Its fun now, of course you're in control. But how long are you going to live this life?
Friend #7. Smoking isn't cool. I'm sorry. I'm ashamed of it myself, but i have no right to say.
Friend #8. I thought you've changed. Guess some things will never.
Friend #9. Your heart is strong. Always be strong in life when challenges arrive. You've already faced mountains of trouble, i'm sure you can hold on. Eventually i'm sure you'll be the one to pull your family out of this. You're a nice pal.
Friend #10. Nice guy. No hard feelings. But i still think you shouldn't have put it face up. Blood.
Family #1. Don't be fooled by boys. They're out to break your heart. Bathe more often and clean up your room. Change your attitude; try to be kinder and giving to people.
Family #2. They used to love you. Now you're wearing my shoes. Hold on, i know what its like. Be strong, and try to be less calculative and rude. And less stingy and spiteful too.
Family #3. I love you. Thank you for doing so much for the family. Your mistake is that you loved him. I am not your enemy. I am your son, and i will always stand by your side.
Family #4. You have caused my misery my whole life. As weird as this may sound, but i don't hold it against you. You'll get your just desserts i'm sure. I can't bring myself to love you, but i can never fully hate you coz your mom's husband. I hope you remember what i said that day; My real father died two years ago. That's my secret to happiness, everyday.
Bini^Aku. You're all i think about everyday. Don't worry about anything. I don't ever want to lose you. You're irreplaceable. Every day, i've been falling more and more in love with you. It still feels like how it was 11 mths ago, and i hope i always have this chance to love you. And if ever i'm not here, we both know that I love you, always wherever i go. Though i joke about you too much. Hah. i'll still want you, no matter what i say.
Okay. So that's all. The rest of the story is just me breaking out into cold sweat and jumping at every single sound that everything makes, bla bla bla. Oh well, i didn't die. Even if that was a bomb, it didn't explode when i got down at admiralty. That was just a glimpse into my mind when i thought i was going to die.
What would you think about when your life flashes before you?
I love my ayang.
along the way we got really hungry and decided to stop by the carrot cake stall at circuit road that we frequent, though it was a "dangerous" area and later on we sat a lil while at the park bench before we went home and saw lionel. oh well, michy wasn't lying about him that's all i can say. haha~
okay here's the main part of my day. i was damn tired when i reached ang mo kio that day on the way back after the tiring 135 journey, and i wanted to piss, dammit but the toilet was washing when i wanted to enter. I was escorted by this cleaner who could barely speak english and merely said ,"10:35". i guessed it meant that i had to come back at that time to take a leak. well i decided to hold it in and wait till admiralty. in my mind i just imagined my legs giving way and my bladder bursting as it hits the floor. i had to get a seat.
My hopes were crushed when the first cabin of the train whizzed past showing the sheer multitudes of people that were sardined in them. ayang was right about complaining to smrt. These thoughts were turned around when i saw the cabin that i was standing at, arriving completely vacant. Nearly at least, with corner seats and standing room. The doors closed and i was on my way home.
AND THEN I SAW IT. I was the only one standing/seating within an area of about 1.5m by 1.5m. The two "couple" seats in the corner was only occupied by this indian muslim-ish man who many would deem as "terrorist". And there on the floor in front of me was a black opaque garbage bag. All alone. On its own. The contents on the inside of the bag as i can see based on the shape of the exterior of the bag were several cylinders.
I started to look around me. The couple seats were only seated by this holy man. The corner seats behind the glasses that i was leaning on this, and the one opposite, were vacant. There was no one standing in that area. And in the connecting cabin section, people were pushing away trying to squeeze into that area. My mind thought of only one thing. "BOMB".
Then it hit me. I wasnt ready to die. Not like this. In my mind, i thought of these few people. And if i thought of it before i died, it must mean something...don't you think? Here are things i need to say, to many people, I'm going to address to a few so if you think something applies to you, it probably is meant for you.
Dear loving friends:
Friend #1. I don't hate you. But i don't like you either.
Friend #2. I want to play well, but we'll never succeed if you'll never try. I believe in this as much as you.
Friend #3. Be strong. In yourself, not to other people. Not everyone is your competition. Life is tough when people don't like you, but its tougher when you don't like people.
Friend #4. I've moved on. Stop all this gangsterism nonsense, you were once one of my closest friends, though we had lots of bad memories.
Friend #5. We have our own lives, i have mine you have yours. But at the end of the day, i'm still here if EVER you need me. And i miss you.
Friend #6. Try to get out of this before its too late. Its fun now, of course you're in control. But how long are you going to live this life?
Friend #7. Smoking isn't cool. I'm sorry. I'm ashamed of it myself, but i have no right to say.
Friend #8. I thought you've changed. Guess some things will never.
Friend #9. Your heart is strong. Always be strong in life when challenges arrive. You've already faced mountains of trouble, i'm sure you can hold on. Eventually i'm sure you'll be the one to pull your family out of this. You're a nice pal.
Friend #10. Nice guy. No hard feelings. But i still think you shouldn't have put it face up. Blood.
Family #1. Don't be fooled by boys. They're out to break your heart. Bathe more often and clean up your room. Change your attitude; try to be kinder and giving to people.
Family #2. They used to love you. Now you're wearing my shoes. Hold on, i know what its like. Be strong, and try to be less calculative and rude. And less stingy and spiteful too.
Family #3. I love you. Thank you for doing so much for the family. Your mistake is that you loved him. I am not your enemy. I am your son, and i will always stand by your side.
Family #4. You have caused my misery my whole life. As weird as this may sound, but i don't hold it against you. You'll get your just desserts i'm sure. I can't bring myself to love you, but i can never fully hate you coz your mom's husband. I hope you remember what i said that day; My real father died two years ago. That's my secret to happiness, everyday.
Bini^Aku. You're all i think about everyday. Don't worry about anything. I don't ever want to lose you. You're irreplaceable. Every day, i've been falling more and more in love with you. It still feels like how it was 11 mths ago, and i hope i always have this chance to love you. And if ever i'm not here, we both know that I love you, always wherever i go. Though i joke about you too much. Hah. i'll still want you, no matter what i say.
Okay. So that's all. The rest of the story is just me breaking out into cold sweat and jumping at every single sound that everything makes, bla bla bla. Oh well, i didn't die. Even if that was a bomb, it didn't explode when i got down at admiralty. That was just a glimpse into my mind when i thought i was going to die.
What would you think about when your life flashes before you?
I love my ayang.
Monday, July 18
Tell All My Friends That I'm Dead...
hey there. i just watched brotherhood just now, courtesy of junxian. thanks man. its a nice show. it just opens your eyes to the fragility of life and love, and how in a split second, everything before you could change and turn upside down. what's the use of conflicts? conflicts among nations, governments, friends, family and even your loved ones? you may think that you can't live with them, but can you really tell yourself you'll be able to live without them. i just pondered about that for quite awhile.
sometimes, i just feel that i can't stand her. like i'm so angry with her coz she's petty or i'm selfish or something...but those times, i know that i love her so much, and i cant bring myself to just ignore her. most times, when i'm angry with her, i just love her and i don't want to make myself give up on her. that's one thing i have been neglecting.
i believe that communication is very important. i still love her as much as the first day i wanted her to be with me. i would admit that we talk 99% of "everyday" except the occasional me being sick or her being tired or asleep by the time i reach home; but i saddens me that sometimes when we talk on the phone, we hold conversations but we don't communicate. don't get me wrong, we don't quarrel. in fact we're stronger than ever before. i just feel that now, we both should know that no matter what, we have to learn to communicate with each other coz we're on different wavelengths. we have different characteristics. and i love her coz she's different.
i told her that day that every girl is the same. and NO girl you find on the street will tell you, i am truly equal to any girl whom you find on the street. i am your jane doe. unless she gave up on herself or has stepped on a landmine before that is. aniwae, all in all michelle fun is different. not because she says she's different, not because people label her as different, but because to me, she's special. she's one of a kind. she's my angel. and i love her so much.
let's start anew. don't give up on me again, and i promise i won't give up on you. for sure.
oh my grandma saw you on my handphone and she said that my gf was cute. hah, don't say i didn't boost your ego. i love you baby.
sometimes, i just feel that i can't stand her. like i'm so angry with her coz she's petty or i'm selfish or something...but those times, i know that i love her so much, and i cant bring myself to just ignore her. most times, when i'm angry with her, i just love her and i don't want to make myself give up on her. that's one thing i have been neglecting.
i believe that communication is very important. i still love her as much as the first day i wanted her to be with me. i would admit that we talk 99% of "everyday" except the occasional me being sick or her being tired or asleep by the time i reach home; but i saddens me that sometimes when we talk on the phone, we hold conversations but we don't communicate. don't get me wrong, we don't quarrel. in fact we're stronger than ever before. i just feel that now, we both should know that no matter what, we have to learn to communicate with each other coz we're on different wavelengths. we have different characteristics. and i love her coz she's different.
i told her that day that every girl is the same. and NO girl you find on the street will tell you, i am truly equal to any girl whom you find on the street. i am your jane doe. unless she gave up on herself or has stepped on a landmine before that is. aniwae, all in all michelle fun is different. not because she says she's different, not because people label her as different, but because to me, she's special. she's one of a kind. she's my angel. and i love her so much.
let's start anew. don't give up on me again, and i promise i won't give up on you. for sure.
oh my grandma saw you on my handphone and she said that my gf was cute. hah, don't say i didn't boost your ego. i love you baby.
Wednesday, July 6
Tuesday, July 5
a sudden rush of love.
we havent been talking much on the phone. we've got our schedules, and our obligations. we've been arguing alot. we spend time together, but we feel so distanced from each other. we're either too tired, too sleepy or too busy. we speak less with each other, and we're getting accustomed to not speaking our mind. we've gotten lazy to understand and tired to explain. we try to spite each other instead, to get our point across. we're getting paranoid and losing trust in one another. so many things have happened, or not.
thank you for staying up to talk to me last night. you're gonna be so exhausted today. thank you for having to rush off to ngaji on thursdays and fridays just to spend a little time with me after school. thank you for understanding when i set aside time for family activites. thank you for sacrificing time with family, friends or PS2, for those few more hours with me. thank you for entertaining my worry and taking care yourself so you dont fall sick so easily. thank you for giving me your attention when i need it. thank you for staying back and waiting for my lessons to end every day. thank you for trying so hard to understand so that you can stand by me and support me. thank you for bothering to make me understand even when i dont want to. thank you for believing in me through times when believing got so hard. thank you for sticking up for me and protecting me when i freeze up or soften down to situations. thank you for always being there for me. thank you ian. thank you for loving me.
Thursday, June 30
pointing back at you.
you mean you're still about it? i hoped you'd be more clear-headed. you havent been clear-headed. since months ago when everybody noticed the change. you want this to go in your direction. all your arguments point towards one thing: your 'winning'. you do see that you only have one argument. sulking is a sign of weakness.
Revenge Of The ....
War! DCMD is crumbling under attacks by ruthless responsible people. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere.
That's cheap. What a way to voice out. *beep* invalid.
You're your own heroes. We're ours.
In the end, the war has begun. And I still love her. =)
That's cheap. What a way to voice out. *beep* invalid.
You're your own heroes. We're ours.
In the end, the war has begun. And I still love her. =)
Saturday, June 25
since everybody reads this blog i guess i should post this entry here.
i am thoroughly upset with the way the treasurer handled the situation. if i remember correctly, i clearly requested her to do the accounts, tabulate the sales and contact the printer for an invoice. i do not doubt the committee's reliability about the issue of keeping the money safe, however if any amount of money was unaccounted for, it reflects inefficiency and irresponsibility.
unfortunately nobody was appointed to oversee the whole project. i believe only seven people out of ten were assigned the roles of stock taker, treasurer, publicity and customer relations, and logistics. i would admit that as being one of the three people in-charge of publicity and customer relations, i have no say over the decisions made in the project. well, then, who is? due to my bossy character and my hunger to share the profits, i have taken the project from where it was hung and into my own hands.
i was, however, disappointed when there was no means to find out the expenses incurred while the project was running. i admit that i have made a couple of claims from the fund without submitting receipts, but i believed all along that the treasurer would keep track of the money getting in and out of the fund. i do not believe i am being unreasonable when i expect a total of $166.75 (according to my calculations) to be accounted for in the fund. i repeat, i do not question the righteousness of the treasurer, but surely the money did go somewhere, and as the sole person doing the accounting now, almost four months after the project has ended, i would like to gain knowledge about the money that is unaccounted for.
at this point i might sound biased against the treasurer, but as a few of us know, cases such as these, reflecting poor management skills and unreliability, have happened before. i believe that is why i have lost my tolerance towards having to pick up half-finished work and covering up for the people who were trusted to the carry out the task. first it was the packaging and now the accounts. they were assigned to the same people and when they decided to fling it away, they fling it to me and my trusty crew.
this entry would not be here if i hadnt been the one that was assigned to clear the task queue after the party ends. then again, if the higher authorities assigned me the task of completing the work of these people, why dont i stop complaining and do my duty unlike the people assigned to do it before me? if voluntary work earned you land in heaven, i would have a china up there by now.
things aside. i am off to do accounting. i still hope i get the accounts. read my baby's entry below!
Friday, June 24
DeaD EyeS See No FuTuRe
twice. i'm sorry for what's gonna appear in this blog. but it has to be said in the public domain coz im not one to hide my anger of a person. or else i'll become some people who lament about being angry but just end up dealing with it quietly. well, there are things i want you to know. you know who you are.
well dear friend, you don't have to take responsibility. i know it has always been you to be the one to shield her, but the fact is, do you even know why you are? coz you're right? you're so well known in the eyes of my wife who thinks highly of you; seemingly potraying you as someone who can see the logical point of view of a situation with proper rationale. well dear friend, rationalize how my wife feels right now about herself and about you people.
when money changes hands, its what you call CONSPICUOUS. i'm not implying anything, merely saying that money has to be accounted for. and its the task of the person in charge of the money. treasurers do more than just COLLECT and STORE money. ask junxian how he manages the class fund last year and you'll see that he's not as ah beng as everyone thinks, in fact he's commendable. more than her.
dear friend, i cant stand it when michy has to take over the tasks that you people leave behind. remember the wrapping cards for the director event? once, we picked up where you all leave your responsibilities behind. we've warned the responsible people...but to no avail. twice, more than 4 months afterward; we pick up your responsibilities again. i'm not complainin coz i dun want to help michy trust me, i'm just unhappy because it seems again that she's forced to take responsibility. and its hurting. trust me it is. i mean if you guys don't bother why should we always be the one to step up for you?
i want you guys to know that jobs are assigned for something. tasks are give out to coordinators who can do them. coz if you dont...then the softee helpful michy would step up and pick up where you left off. she's not you slave. she's my wife. and it fucks me up everytime i see her getting upset coz of other people other than me. i'm selfish. life to me is about making her happy...ask acit. he'll tell you that. that is, if michy is telling the truth, and in this case; i bear witness and its not crazy mixed up stories. ive had it with this shit. please be more responsible. pronto. for yourself.
i love my girlfriend. how dare you hurt her.
well dear friend, you don't have to take responsibility. i know it has always been you to be the one to shield her, but the fact is, do you even know why you are? coz you're right? you're so well known in the eyes of my wife who thinks highly of you; seemingly potraying you as someone who can see the logical point of view of a situation with proper rationale. well dear friend, rationalize how my wife feels right now about herself and about you people.
when money changes hands, its what you call CONSPICUOUS. i'm not implying anything, merely saying that money has to be accounted for. and its the task of the person in charge of the money. treasurers do more than just COLLECT and STORE money. ask junxian how he manages the class fund last year and you'll see that he's not as ah beng as everyone thinks, in fact he's commendable. more than her.
dear friend, i cant stand it when michy has to take over the tasks that you people leave behind. remember the wrapping cards for the director event? once, we picked up where you all leave your responsibilities behind. we've warned the responsible people...but to no avail. twice, more than 4 months afterward; we pick up your responsibilities again. i'm not complainin coz i dun want to help michy trust me, i'm just unhappy because it seems again that she's forced to take responsibility. and its hurting. trust me it is. i mean if you guys don't bother why should we always be the one to step up for you?
i want you guys to know that jobs are assigned for something. tasks are give out to coordinators who can do them. coz if you dont...then the softee helpful michy would step up and pick up where you left off. she's not you slave. she's my wife. and it fucks me up everytime i see her getting upset coz of other people other than me. i'm selfish. life to me is about making her happy...ask acit. he'll tell you that. that is, if michy is telling the truth, and in this case; i bear witness and its not crazy mixed up stories. ive had it with this shit. please be more responsible. pronto. for yourself.
i love my girlfriend. how dare you hurt her.
Tuesday, June 21
urgh.
querÃa comprarte floras cada dÃa hacer cada dÃa una vacación
y habla más y más y más de ti y de los cosas que haces
i just said i'd buy you flowers every day, make every day a holiday
carry on and on and on about you and the things you do
bowling for soup - on and on (about you)
thats spanish by the way. haha anyways... thank you boy, for loving me every day, whether we go through a rough stretch on the road, or we let each other down. its raining flowers every day when i'm with you. each day you're here with me, sorrow and anger, no matter how little or big, dissolve away in your smile. like why on earth am i crying while typing this sweetie pie naive shit about being in love. you've touched the heart of a cynic, baby.
Sunday, June 19
a line in your book (i dont know why i named this entry that)
hello faithful fans! we're reely sorry we havent been updating for a loooooong while... ian's been sick and i've been reely brainless. ian tells me to get some complicated math problem sums from my mom to do so that my brain doesnt get too small for its stem. well! i've been doing them! and now i'm ready to write. (lets just hope this entry doesnt take me five hours)
no, arman, you're not too late to wish us though it's half a month past our 9th month anniversary! well, it was great. we had a nice, simple dinner at magic wok novena square... yah like MAGIC WOK?! well unlike other magic wok branches they did the place up quite nicely, with comfy sofas and this gazebo (its pronounced "gezeebou") thingie with vine-like decorations... and a really out-of-place fake tree. yah like what was it doing there. haha! though the ah beng and mat waiters are roudy and noisy, it's a really nice and not-too-cheap-not-too-expensive place to dine at... its got no GST or service charge! and its got reely nice prawn tomyam soup too! yummay.
oh in case yall dunno, i've taken up a new hobby! its cooking. and cooking yummy low-calorie foodies. just last sunday my best friend polly invited us over to cook! haha... well she was crazy over the poached salmon i cooked up at her place the saturday before so she thought she'd ask me over to cook for her again. this is very in tune with my retirement plan of setting up a café with my by then retired husband. hah. well we all had a great seafood-chowder-chicken-stuffing-casserole-buttermilk-fruit-smoothie-peanut-butter-banana-milkshake dinner, polly, eunice, ian and me. stop drooling you guys. well polly just flew back to hong kong yesterday and she hasnt bought a return ticket. awww man i'm gonna miss her.
watched coffee talk and hawker woks lately? i think fiona xie's reely pretty, but she's quite sucky as a food show host. anyways on wednesday ian and i decided to try taufik batisah's chicken rice at bukit batok! chicken rice at banquet toa payoh beats that anyday. dont try it! haha... oh mr teh tarik down telok ayer street recommended by kumar in the show is reely nice and cheap.
okay enough about food. i just wrote like three paragraphs of it. i'm really relieved school these two weeks werent as bad as the first. i thought it would be a nightmare and lots of missing ian and lots and lots of lonely times in class and no one to kacau the lecturer with; ian's been so sweet. he's been making time for me before class, during breaks, and after school. yes, i still miss him in class, but we've got new friends! thank you all for supporting us all these months. haha dn thank you for layan-ing our nonsense in class every day.
it's fathers' day today! okay i'm gonna be late for dinner with dad. i havent got to my new bag! okay peeps i'll update again! whenever you read this, wherever you are, give you dad or mom a hug the next time you see them. i love you daddy though you're racist and quite paranoid.
Monday, June 6
I LOVES YOU MANY MANY!
HEY EVERYBODY! TODAY'S OUR 9TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY! IF YOU'RE READING THIS ON 6 JUNE 2005, HURRY WISH US! I LOVES ANDI MANY MANY. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY YAN. I LOVE YOU.
*MUUUUUUUUAAAAH!*
MICHY
Friday, June 3
i heart you.
lookie! we've got a new skin! thats like, SO COOL. andi's reely sick today... i hope he gets better. i really do. so here it is, the first week of school. incredible how we got by huh! we didnt. now ian's sick. get better okay? you better. by monday! i've missed you. so much. i hope you like our new skin! i've spent 2 hours customising it. surprise!
the class just seems emptier, my classmates more peculiar. i dont get hungry by eleven anymore. i look at the clock very often, hoping for time to pass more quickly. i wonder why i walk past the pond alone in the morning, i wonder why my palms arent as sweaty. i keep taking glances to the back of the class when i sit in front. in the class there is the lecturer and me. and no one to catch my jokes when i throw one. i talk in class alot, and i realise i talk to myself. yes, i talk about shopping, i talk about books, movies, people, andi, but i say these to no one. i dont expect answers anymore. time with you seems so short, time without you just goes on and on ad on.
i'll be strong. we'll get through this. no one's there to warm my fingers when the class gets icy, but i wont let it get to my heart. believe me. i know you do.
at the end of the day, you'll realise i still love you.
Tuesday, May 31
B.Y.O.B
A man returns home one day after a tiring day of work. He just wants to sit around and love his wife, give her warm hugs and recieve kisses before he tucks in for the night. He drives into the porch in his vintage car and gives a honk while parking in the usual spot, to signal to his wife that he has returned.
Glancing out the window, he tries the spot the sweet smile of his darling wife welcoming him. -Nothing-.
He feels something is amiss. Opening the door of his car, he feels a warm touch above his brow and all round his scalp. Must be the weather. Quickly he rushes to the front door, with thoughts running through his mind; "Maybe my wife is giving me a surprise! She's just waiting for me to walk through that door so that she can run to me and give me a hug. Yes, that's it."
The man carefully inserts the key into the keyhole, and his heart grew warm anticipating the warm arms of embrace that he is about to recieve. The key turns,*click*."I'm home baby!". -Nothing-.
Something is wrong. The man looks around the house, everything is in the right place. No signs of struggle or anything amiss. But where is my darling wife? The man feels a strange warm aura that resonates from his back. He smiles for an unknown reason. He feels as though there's someone there, but his eyes decieve him.
He walks up the stairs and goes to the bedroom; if there is a surprise, then it must be my wife waiting in bed with her sexy lingerie. "Oh that'd be so nice. No wonder its quiet around here."
He walks up to the bedroom door. In his heart are two emotions; one anticipating the possibility of a great night ahead, the other a sad desperate feeling. But he's not gonna take any chances, he's longing to see her. His hands grasp the cold metal of the knob and turns its gently. *swoosh*. -Nothing-.
The man sits down on the side of the bed and wonders,"Where has my wife gone?" She never leaves home. No, in fact, i don't expect her to leave home. Its not normal for me not to know where she is. And what is this mild warmth that I feel all around me?Then it struck him.
She's always there. She's always around the house. In fact she's always there behind him, and she had been hugging him ever since he stepped out of the car. This world; of sorrow, insecurity and jealousy; had created a world pulled over his eyes where he is blinded from her. She can't follow him in this world, instead he has to open his eyes and find her. To find a world where she can care for him; one where she isn't the only being in the world, one where she has her own things to do, her own places to go. He can't depend on her to be his only other person in the world; coz she isn't.
The man stands up and screams his lungs out, "Give me back my wife." There is a silence.-Nothing-
It's all up to him now.
Glancing out the window, he tries the spot the sweet smile of his darling wife welcoming him. -Nothing-.
He feels something is amiss. Opening the door of his car, he feels a warm touch above his brow and all round his scalp. Must be the weather. Quickly he rushes to the front door, with thoughts running through his mind; "Maybe my wife is giving me a surprise! She's just waiting for me to walk through that door so that she can run to me and give me a hug. Yes, that's it."
The man carefully inserts the key into the keyhole, and his heart grew warm anticipating the warm arms of embrace that he is about to recieve. The key turns,*click*."I'm home baby!". -Nothing-.
Something is wrong. The man looks around the house, everything is in the right place. No signs of struggle or anything amiss. But where is my darling wife? The man feels a strange warm aura that resonates from his back. He smiles for an unknown reason. He feels as though there's someone there, but his eyes decieve him.
He walks up the stairs and goes to the bedroom; if there is a surprise, then it must be my wife waiting in bed with her sexy lingerie. "Oh that'd be so nice. No wonder its quiet around here."
He walks up to the bedroom door. In his heart are two emotions; one anticipating the possibility of a great night ahead, the other a sad desperate feeling. But he's not gonna take any chances, he's longing to see her. His hands grasp the cold metal of the knob and turns its gently. *swoosh*. -Nothing-.
The man sits down on the side of the bed and wonders,"Where has my wife gone?" She never leaves home. No, in fact, i don't expect her to leave home. Its not normal for me not to know where she is. And what is this mild warmth that I feel all around me?Then it struck him.
She's always there. She's always around the house. In fact she's always there behind him, and she had been hugging him ever since he stepped out of the car. This world; of sorrow, insecurity and jealousy; had created a world pulled over his eyes where he is blinded from her. She can't follow him in this world, instead he has to open his eyes and find her. To find a world where she can care for him; one where she isn't the only being in the world, one where she has her own things to do, her own places to go. He can't depend on her to be his only other person in the world; coz she isn't.
The man stands up and screams his lungs out, "Give me back my wife." There is a silence.-Nothing-
It's all up to him now.
Tuesday, May 24
... i miss you, so much, that it hurts
we've been quarrelling quite a bit lately. well school's starting soon, i guess we're afraid too. yes, of the angels or devils that speak to us when we're not together, and the angels or devils that speak amongst themselves when we are together, and mostly the dozens of five-piece sets of six-degreed fragments taken away from us to put on the kissing walls of the labs. we'll be missing so much.
Thursday, May 19
Farewell To Friends
hey everyone...i've got this lame song in my head. I wanna dedicate it to michy, but the meaning may mean alot to all of you...so i'd rather dedicate it to all you kids out there.
FAREWELL TO FRIENDS - MATCHBOOK ROMANCE
A pictures worth a thousand words
But not worth the words I need to hear
I miss you so much that it hurts
And tonight, I wish you were here with me
So I could make you see
The stars, they lay across the sky so perfectly
They remind me of
All the times, when we used to sit underneath them, those summer nights
And fall in love
Its not alright, it's our last night together
I won't give up, I can't let go, of you.
I can't let go of you.
And tonight, I close my eyes and dream that she
is still the one, laying there beside me
I'd walk a thousand miles
I'd swim across the sea
What do I have to do, please just tell me
okay, that's cool. aniwae, i want to let all you people know that i'm officially staying in 2A/01 next year. i mean staying. well, at first i couldn't accept being separated from all you kids in 01, coz i do have some problems opening up to some people in this course, either coz you annoy me or i annoy you. but hell, i cant afford to give a shit nemore coz im staying. for the good of everyone, so that i'm being fair to everyone. just once, i can really say, i gave way. even if michy doesn't think i do, its okay! i still love her anyhow! =) wanna say that i miss my friends in 1A01 and you turi roommates, but i hafta deal wit it. i hafta be strong, for michy. i realized i have been hurting her with being sad at this situation, but i gotta lick my own wounds and pick myself up. guess the reshuffling hasn't been fair to me, however I; have not been fair to michy. i love you baby. let's look forward to a bright year ahead. i may still be hurting and sad about the situation now, but i'll pick myself up eventually. to the boys of 2A02, i'll probably come by and break ur noses if michy flirts with you, but i'll be close. but really, to all you peeps of 2A02 next year, enjoy bebeh. farewell my friends, i'll be close by.
FAREWELL TO FRIENDS - MATCHBOOK ROMANCE
A pictures worth a thousand words
But not worth the words I need to hear
I miss you so much that it hurts
And tonight, I wish you were here with me
So I could make you see
The stars, they lay across the sky so perfectly
They remind me of
All the times, when we used to sit underneath them, those summer nights
And fall in love
Its not alright, it's our last night together
I won't give up, I can't let go, of you.
I can't let go of you.
And tonight, I close my eyes and dream that she
is still the one, laying there beside me
I'd walk a thousand miles
I'd swim across the sea
What do I have to do, please just tell me
okay, that's cool. aniwae, i want to let all you people know that i'm officially staying in 2A/01 next year. i mean staying. well, at first i couldn't accept being separated from all you kids in 01, coz i do have some problems opening up to some people in this course, either coz you annoy me or i annoy you. but hell, i cant afford to give a shit nemore coz im staying. for the good of everyone, so that i'm being fair to everyone. just once, i can really say, i gave way. even if michy doesn't think i do, its okay! i still love her anyhow! =) wanna say that i miss my friends in 1A01 and you turi roommates, but i hafta deal wit it. i hafta be strong, for michy. i realized i have been hurting her with being sad at this situation, but i gotta lick my own wounds and pick myself up. guess the reshuffling hasn't been fair to me, however I; have not been fair to michy. i love you baby. let's look forward to a bright year ahead. i may still be hurting and sad about the situation now, but i'll pick myself up eventually. to the boys of 2A02, i'll probably come by and break ur noses if michy flirts with you, but i'll be close. but really, to all you peeps of 2A02 next year, enjoy bebeh. farewell my friends, i'll be close by.
Friday, May 13
A Picture's Worth A Thousand Words, Not Worth The Words I Need To Hear
I miss you so much that it hurts. why u havent sms-ed me all day? are u okay? hmm i wonder...what happened to you today?
i guess its just ur hp outta roaming service coz past 3 mths liao wad. but how come u get to sms me at 11am when u were already in m'sia? that's so weird. oh yeah baby dun call me from msia with polly's phone. hmm dun okay! its very expensive. and other than that incoming overseas calls are expensive for me oso. and i got last month's 18dollar balance to pay oso u noe! haha eh....i miss you so much. i miss u so much that im gonna write a whole paragraph of i miss you.
i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you.
oh damn i just realized something! i could've just copied and pasted it!!! damn im so dumb. see baby, my brain stopped working ever since you left me. hey i want everybody to know that you left me 3 times to go outta the country. and i just cant bear to leave you...remember that day i supposed to sleep nyai'e house? i went home coz u said u missed me! okay that's dumb but i did okay! hmm aniwaes, im really worried for u baby. i hope you're alright but i guess i should just leave u in the safety of ur mom, dad and polly; im sure they'd tc of you and love you just the same. i miss you so much. and you got that bear to hug. hope you're not missing me as much. coz it hurts real bad...you duno. haiz~ i love you. come home to me k! oh quickly too~
okay that was gross.
i guess its just ur hp outta roaming service coz past 3 mths liao wad. but how come u get to sms me at 11am when u were already in m'sia? that's so weird. oh yeah baby dun call me from msia with polly's phone. hmm dun okay! its very expensive. and other than that incoming overseas calls are expensive for me oso. and i got last month's 18dollar balance to pay oso u noe! haha eh....i miss you so much. i miss u so much that im gonna write a whole paragraph of i miss you.
i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you.
oh damn i just realized something! i could've just copied and pasted it!!! damn im so dumb. see baby, my brain stopped working ever since you left me. hey i want everybody to know that you left me 3 times to go outta the country. and i just cant bear to leave you...remember that day i supposed to sleep nyai'e house? i went home coz u said u missed me! okay that's dumb but i did okay! hmm aniwaes, im really worried for u baby. i hope you're alright but i guess i should just leave u in the safety of ur mom, dad and polly; im sure they'd tc of you and love you just the same. i miss you so much. and you got that bear to hug. hope you're not missing me as much. coz it hurts real bad...you duno. haiz~ i love you. come home to me k! oh quickly too~
okay that was gross.
Friday, May 6
I Can't Let Go Of You...I Can't Let Go Of You
hey there people. its been a lil while since i wrote yeah. oh well. i just wanna wish my ayang a HAPPY 8th MONTH ANNIVERSARY!
michy said to me that day some things that really got my attention. im turnin out to be a lousy boyfriend. i refuse to allow myself to be...im sorry baby. i never ever wished to hurt you, in my mind i had no idea you were hurting. im sorry baby. i really don't know...i guess i was too caught up in my other problems in life that i treat you as my retreat. as a place i retreat to from the harshness of the outside world. it is with you that i find peace and happiness, and even though sometimes we do have our own problems, i'd rather solve ours than all the other problems i have in life. i'd rather spend time with you. the world outside is war, but the love you give to me heals my wounds and gets me ready for my upcoming battle. thank you for always being there baby. thank you.
i'm sorry that i don't know how to love you to the full extent. i just love you like how i know and im pretty sure my methods aren't enough. im sorry i failed to ask you how you wanted me to love you. i didn't know and i didn't ask. im so stupid. but now i need you to help me okay. teach me, teach me to love you properly. mould me to be the lover that you want me to be, to be the person you wanna keep with you for all your tommorrows. because i wanna be there for you. and i want to show you how much i love you...how much love i have in this heart for you. it just cant come out. help me okay.
everyone, i can safely say that michy is a very good cook. she can cook extremely well let me tell you. i have found so much love and respect in her because of this because as much as i don't like to admit it, a backdoor into my heart is thru my stomach. and michy covered them left,right and center. my wonderful wife made me MEAT cocktails, black pepper chicken chop(brocolli never became so edible), and even spaghetti. and coming from a family where mommy cooks twice a year, im wonderfully amazed by this lady. she's my darling wife. and i love her.
i don't wanna lose you baby. i don't.
problems aside; let's enjoy this day okay. 8 months and counting. till when? in the words of Raww Le Klueze; GundamSeed 1:50 "For eternity!" okay that's damn lame. haha i still love you michelle fun DAR ling.
michy said to me that day some things that really got my attention. im turnin out to be a lousy boyfriend. i refuse to allow myself to be...im sorry baby. i never ever wished to hurt you, in my mind i had no idea you were hurting. im sorry baby. i really don't know...i guess i was too caught up in my other problems in life that i treat you as my retreat. as a place i retreat to from the harshness of the outside world. it is with you that i find peace and happiness, and even though sometimes we do have our own problems, i'd rather solve ours than all the other problems i have in life. i'd rather spend time with you. the world outside is war, but the love you give to me heals my wounds and gets me ready for my upcoming battle. thank you for always being there baby. thank you.
i'm sorry that i don't know how to love you to the full extent. i just love you like how i know and im pretty sure my methods aren't enough. im sorry i failed to ask you how you wanted me to love you. i didn't know and i didn't ask. im so stupid. but now i need you to help me okay. teach me, teach me to love you properly. mould me to be the lover that you want me to be, to be the person you wanna keep with you for all your tommorrows. because i wanna be there for you. and i want to show you how much i love you...how much love i have in this heart for you. it just cant come out. help me okay.
everyone, i can safely say that michy is a very good cook. she can cook extremely well let me tell you. i have found so much love and respect in her because of this because as much as i don't like to admit it, a backdoor into my heart is thru my stomach. and michy covered them left,right and center. my wonderful wife made me MEAT cocktails, black pepper chicken chop(brocolli never became so edible), and even spaghetti. and coming from a family where mommy cooks twice a year, im wonderfully amazed by this lady. she's my darling wife. and i love her.
i don't wanna lose you baby. i don't.
problems aside; let's enjoy this day okay. 8 months and counting. till when? in the words of Raww Le Klueze; GundamSeed 1:50 "For eternity!" okay that's damn lame. haha i still love you michelle fun DAR ling.
Wednesday, May 4
dcmd/2a/--
Wednesday, May 405
this whole week ian has been reely down... yeah hey boy dont sad okay... it'll turn out fine! TO ALL PEOPLE IN DCMD/2A/01: take care of ian okay! yep my boy's been reely worried about the class groupings... WE'VE BEEN SPLIT! yah. i know. it sucks. i'm finally feeling the stab. well, class and loads of assignments and a whole different and separate environment wont get to us! okay, maybe a little... just wanna take this time to anounce officially in our blog: ian i promise things will get better. it's only as good as we make it to be! you told me that! sure we'll go through lots and lots of time without each other... or just occupied with our own assignments, we'll start to feel the distance cuz we're going through such different situations daily, we might start quarrelling cuz we dont have time to understand each other anymore, and we become even more different than how we already are but i promise, in those times, it'll get better. WE'LL get better. we'll be the same and try as hard as we are now. maybe we'll have to try harder! well didnt we all make promises about NS, university, family, marriage and old age? i'm sure there'll be trying times ahead, btu we're still heading for the same dreams! well definitely class isnt just about ME. ian's SMOKING BROS are all in 02. thats my class. thats prolly a good thing to me! haha... BAD BAD LIHIN AND KENNY. at least they'll take care of me! haha i reely dont know why ian's so worried about me and asking people to take care of me but HEY! i dont care. i know he cares :)
yah other than that ian's been having problems with his family... his brother broke the gundam toy i gave him! boy it's not your fault, though we're all sad... dont worry okay, i'll buy you many many more toys when i got more money! haha feels like i'm talking to my kid. well this kid takes care of me and makes me happy and loves me lots and lots no matter how many tantrums i throw! probably talking about all these makes you upset... and i'm sorry if it did, just know i wanna help and i'll be there when you want me to okay?
yipee! it's our 8th MONTH ANNIVERSARY on friday! thats the 6th! hahaa wish us a happy 8 months leh! hey boy, cheer up yeah? we'll go do something nice on friday. and i dont want anything to spoil it or dampen our moods. i'm sure looking forward to it! haha... i'll go try another recipe :) to all our blog-stalkers... KEEP STALKING! haha
Tuesday, April 26
undeserving ones.
recently i've have been pretty upset about the 'competition'. i mean, competition is good, but only for motivation and you to gauge your ability. setting yourself up against your competitors or people who dont even give a squat about you - well, i'd say you're growing up too fast. i dont like you.
you have such large ears, and such little mouths. you choose not to tell; if you did you'd expect me to hate you. you keep your ears open so that you can hate me when i dont tell you.
hear this, i would tell, but i wouldnt cuz you havent. i wouldnt hate you, but i would cuz you disregarded our friendship. yes, i do take offence. i wont be happy for you anymore, you have chosen to set yourself against me. feeling guilty? i hope you take offence. i believe i speak for all my friends here, to the used-to-friends who chose to get jealous over grades or assignment opportunities. get a life. away from mine.
Monday, April 25
surprise surprise!
heya peeps! yeap... the sleepover at polly's house was fun. polly i miss yooooou! haha oh dont worry mommy, we didnt have sex. well it was great. we havent hung out for a LONG time cuz we've been very busy. hey girl! i'm reely glad we did. we're gonna play badminton next week! it's part of our WEIGHT-LOSS PROGRAMME. hah.
i promised ian a surprise last night. well here it is!
it's andi's stupid fantasy with the girl in the action-for-aids ad. her name's Nikki. HAH. oh i got new earrings! ian bought them for me. they're reely nice bronze pearls! thank you boy... and thank you for NOT smoking for 2 weeks. yah people who know how ian needs to smoke... well he hasnt! and i'm so proud of him. MD ANDI SUFIAN YOU ROCK! i love you boy. well not just cuz you havent been smoking, cuz you're still with me :)
i promised ian a surprise last night. well here it is!
it's andi's stupid fantasy with the girl in the action-for-aids ad. her name's Nikki. HAH. oh i got new earrings! ian bought them for me. they're reely nice bronze pearls! thank you boy... and thank you for NOT smoking for 2 weeks. yah people who know how ian needs to smoke... well he hasnt! and i'm so proud of him. MD ANDI SUFIAN YOU ROCK! i love you boy. well not just cuz you havent been smoking, cuz you're still with me :)
Saturday, April 23
Cross Out The Eyes...
hey there people. i just wanna drop by really quick to type a few things. my baby keeps complaining that she thinks that our courtship was too short. well for one thing, i was kinda pleased that it was short, but our relationship can make up for it and be REALLY LONG. Till Death Do Us Part i hope. but its not really over, we just have more things to manage now that we're a couple. i just wanna point this out to people out there who are dating or in courtship, don't give up okay! Because courtship is the time where you are nicest to each other, you buy each other gifts, hang out and be simple and happy with the small things. so treasure that, and don't give up!
another thing is that i think everyone knows how poor we both are, but somehow someway, michy was able to save a heck of a lot of money to buy me a Master Grade Gundam Astray Red Frame. For those of you who don't know what gundams are, its okay. Just know that it cost her a heck of a lot of money. I really2 appreciate what she has done, but not because of its cost; but because it was so damn hard to save that money just to get me something. I'll get you something baby, just you wait! I'm gonna work hard! I love you!
Oh well, today she's gonna sleep over at her best friend's house. I hope she has lotsa fun!!! Its been awhile since she had time away and i really hope she has a blast. Enjoy urself k! And dun wori about me, i can go marvel at my wonderful new toy! Thank you baby, im gonna miss you! Takecare and tell Polly i love her! okay not really. but yeah.
another thing is that i think everyone knows how poor we both are, but somehow someway, michy was able to save a heck of a lot of money to buy me a Master Grade Gundam Astray Red Frame. For those of you who don't know what gundams are, its okay. Just know that it cost her a heck of a lot of money. I really2 appreciate what she has done, but not because of its cost; but because it was so damn hard to save that money just to get me something. I'll get you something baby, just you wait! I'm gonna work hard! I love you!
Oh well, today she's gonna sleep over at her best friend's house. I hope she has lotsa fun!!! Its been awhile since she had time away and i really hope she has a blast. Enjoy urself k! And dun wori about me, i can go marvel at my wonderful new toy! Thank you baby, im gonna miss you! Takecare and tell Polly i love her! okay not really. but yeah.
Tuesday, April 19
Devoutly Wished For Blinded Eyes...
yo babies! well to those of you who think this blog is DEAD, well it isn't. I guess ever since the start of the last week of school, me and michy had been really busy. hmm alot of things haf happened since. Lots and lots, good and bad. There really is so much to share.
One thing for sure is that me and michy have grown together as a couple. There had been alot of fights since the last days of school. In fact, since our fight during our last Character Development CIP. Alot of fights. Many many close calls, but we never gave up. We can make it! I believe in that so much. I really really do. Well, it can be said that a couple that quarrels alot would eventually grow closer together, so i hope that me and michy can be closer after all these. And indeed i think we are. We had been able to talk things thru, and i am sure we learnt alot of things about each other; about our differences, our opinions, our attitudes. Its hard but me and michy are learning to work together as a team. Truly.
Its been tough, but i still love my baby girl. michy thinks that people think she's not good enough for me. and i tell her no, she's the only one i need and i dun care what people out there think. if you think that either one of us is not good enough for the other, well then too bad for you. In this world, there are always people who are better than you. I personally believe that as long as you're happy with who you are, who cares if there's someone better than you? there's always someone, and you can only be the best, if you Be the best that you can be. and to me, michy is doing a wonderful job of caring for me. heck, she cares about me more than my mother. and we all know that mothers care about others before themselves. Michelle, you're the best. There's no one i'd rather be with but u. I dun care if they're prettier, slimmer, richer or whatever it is lah. I just want you. All the time. oh, that doesn't sound right. Sorry mahadar. =X
Anyway, me and michy went to watch "Guess Who". Its like the perfect show for us don't you think? Anyways, not considering the fact that its a comedy+love show in one, we just went to watch it because earlier on, we were celebrating my best fren's bdae. And she wanted to catch a movie, and michy just suggested it. i just complied coz it sounded nice. and they were gonna blanja us aniwaes since i finished my money buying the stuff. oh that's so embarrassing to say. WENDY ROCKS!! oh what we did was we prepared fried rice for her. i think things mean the most if they are wholly done by you. and you got a fried rice from me and michy, done by US. tho its just fried rice, i'll have you know alot of love was put into it. =) it was great i think, except the fact that we were bombarded with ice cubes and an egg, that nearly hit my friend Arman.
well wendy, i wish you luck in everything you do. im happy that you're happy. but im always gonna be here k. i mean, if you ever need me that is la. hmm yeah. thanks for everything. oh yeah. I OWE WENDY 10 BUCKS FOR MY EZ-LINK CARD HOME. or else i'd now be seen begging in front of Taka playing a four-note tune on my harmonica(ittirating). I love you wendy. thank you.
Arman, you-good-man. Me-forget-you-not. Gay-MassCommers-Stay-Away-You-From. damn, why did u miss the egg. haiz...it would be damn funny tho if it did hit. well at least we came up and gave that boy a piece of our mind. what a bitch. WE'RE GANGSTERS!
To Bini^ku(My wife): I love you baby. So much. I hope you had fun. Coz i had fun. And it was nice. Thank you for making that decision on 06/09/2004. The decision that intertwined our lives, and changed it forever. I love you. Thanks for loving me. Oh yes, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” is a very good book. Check up on it some time people! Bye! *muacksx*
One thing for sure is that me and michy have grown together as a couple. There had been alot of fights since the last days of school. In fact, since our fight during our last Character Development CIP. Alot of fights. Many many close calls, but we never gave up. We can make it! I believe in that so much. I really really do. Well, it can be said that a couple that quarrels alot would eventually grow closer together, so i hope that me and michy can be closer after all these. And indeed i think we are. We had been able to talk things thru, and i am sure we learnt alot of things about each other; about our differences, our opinions, our attitudes. Its hard but me and michy are learning to work together as a team. Truly.
Its been tough, but i still love my baby girl. michy thinks that people think she's not good enough for me. and i tell her no, she's the only one i need and i dun care what people out there think. if you think that either one of us is not good enough for the other, well then too bad for you. In this world, there are always people who are better than you. I personally believe that as long as you're happy with who you are, who cares if there's someone better than you? there's always someone, and you can only be the best, if you Be the best that you can be. and to me, michy is doing a wonderful job of caring for me. heck, she cares about me more than my mother. and we all know that mothers care about others before themselves. Michelle, you're the best. There's no one i'd rather be with but u. I dun care if they're prettier, slimmer, richer or whatever it is lah. I just want you. All the time. oh, that doesn't sound right. Sorry mahadar. =X
Anyway, me and michy went to watch "Guess Who". Its like the perfect show for us don't you think? Anyways, not considering the fact that its a comedy+love show in one, we just went to watch it because earlier on, we were celebrating my best fren's bdae. And she wanted to catch a movie, and michy just suggested it. i just complied coz it sounded nice. and they were gonna blanja us aniwaes since i finished my money buying the stuff. oh that's so embarrassing to say. WENDY ROCKS!! oh what we did was we prepared fried rice for her. i think things mean the most if they are wholly done by you. and you got a fried rice from me and michy, done by US. tho its just fried rice, i'll have you know alot of love was put into it. =) it was great i think, except the fact that we were bombarded with ice cubes and an egg, that nearly hit my friend Arman.
well wendy, i wish you luck in everything you do. im happy that you're happy. but im always gonna be here k. i mean, if you ever need me that is la. hmm yeah. thanks for everything. oh yeah. I OWE WENDY 10 BUCKS FOR MY EZ-LINK CARD HOME. or else i'd now be seen begging in front of Taka playing a four-note tune on my harmonica(ittirating). I love you wendy. thank you.
Arman, you-good-man. Me-forget-you-not. Gay-MassCommers-Stay-Away-You-From. damn, why did u miss the egg. haiz...it would be damn funny tho if it did hit. well at least we came up and gave that boy a piece of our mind. what a bitch. WE'RE GANGSTERS!
To Bini^ku(My wife): I love you baby. So much. I hope you had fun. Coz i had fun. And it was nice. Thank you for making that decision on 06/09/2004. The decision that intertwined our lives, and changed it forever. I love you. Thanks for loving me. Oh yes, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” is a very good book. Check up on it some time people! Bye! *muacksx*
Thursday, April 7
been a long while huh.
heya peeps! in case you were wondering... nope! we havent run out of wonderful experiences to share with y'all! it's not a HUGE quarrel or whatever either... we've just been REEELY busy... the end of the school term finally HAS arrived, and we've been SO bugged down by all the overdue assignments! we have had to deal with some TEAMWORK DIFFERENCES but heck, it's our anniversary today! errr... right now it would have been yesterday... haha hurry hurry quick wish us!
kae i wanted to be the first to say it in our blog... HAPPY ANNIVERSARY YAN. it was a reely tough and SUPER UNLUCKY week for me but you've been there all the time. thank you. yeah my week was bad. really bad. ask yan. well it wasnt so bad thanks to him! and we did have a nice quiet anniversary at cameron OLD-SCHOOL restaurant today. i reely enjoyed it. wow! we're 7 months old! i cant believe it myself. it feels like years. well lately we've been so caught up in work we hardly have time for ourselves. though i see him every day i must say i really miss him! come the end of this week ASSIGNMENTS WILL FINALLY DISAPPEAR. i cant wait. i love you boy *blush blush!*
awww man i gotta get back to work right now... i'm totally left behind! i'll update again yeah!
Monday, March 21
FiNd A WaY...
hey there. wad up people? we're back after a week of no blogging huh. oh i wanna tell you that this week is a good week. by good i mean as in its not bad, but there had been better weeks for us. hmm im almost sad this week is over but im sure there are many more wonderful weeks ahead in this life, don't you think so?
oh well lets get started on the lovely stuff i hafta say huh. this week i found out that quite a few people actually do read this blog. i'm kinda glad that you all do...coz i think that me and michy sometimes do get carried away in our own world so i hope this blog could be a medium between us for all of u to see what's happening in our lives. think of it as looking at our lives from far and even tho we dont have time for you all everyday, we are still happy, and that's what friends want rite? for you to be happy! and i want all of you to be happy too. ALL. well to polly and fazli, i'm sorry we havent really been spending time wit you people, i mean its really kinda difficult to hang out wit you all when we are so immersed in love. and its even more difficult when the best friend you have in class is your gf/bf coz then, its like you hang wit them everyday. and its just ONE person. for us its not a bad thing, well its true that only we both can understand what its like. and maybe if you think it from our perspective, you can find some understanding? well, i really hope you girls have fun this wednesday okay! WE LOVE YOU POLLY. and for you gmok, i'm glad things hadnt changed. it just shows that our frenship is timeless. fazli's the best fatboy in the world. bitch.
well lately michy has been having trouble waking up earli in the mornin. i don't blame her, and i'm sorry she doesn't have the right to oversleep in the morning like normal people do, coz i depend on her to wake me. yes its true people, i suck at waking up in the morning. im sure people who went to turi would know. one thing i'm always sorry about is that when i sleep, i'm deaf. i cant wake up even if the building crumbles. ask Kenn. im sorry im so dependant on you to wake me up in the morning. but ure the more responsible one and in this way i can really say, I NEED YOU. its just one of the many things i need you for. thank you for waking me up earli in the morning everyday without fail. you're my sunshine baby.
her comp is spoilt again. i gotta go lend from yanting the cd and go visit the in-laws again. hope i don't spoil their impression of me huh. wish me luck!
lemme tell you two ULTRA wonderful things michy did for me this week. on saturday, we were gonna meet to hang out. so we arranged to meet around 530pm. at 430pm i called her to say that i'm gonna leave house liao so she better get out of the hse or she's dead. then she said that she juz reached home from going out with her parents, and she wants to bathe and CHOOSE clothes and get ready. i tell you if she choose clothes arh; you can go and get a glass of milk and by the time she gets ready, you have cheese! it takes AGES. so i was kinda pissed a lil bit and i said ''aiyah juz wear wad u wearing arh! why u wanna change2" and she asked me to leave hse in like another 15mins. the problem is, the story i told my mom is that i got lessons, and i'm already late coz it supposedly starts at 5pm. so i left my ez-link and went down to the void deck and sat at some bench. 15mins later i came up and said "oh sorry i forgot my ezlink. i walked all the way to admiralty already and i forgot!" my mom was pissed, but at least i did wad michy asked me to.
okay then i started to walk to admiralty, and michy msged me and asked me where i was. so i said i juz left hse and i asked her if she left anot coz if not she's gonna be late. fyi, for DATES, michy is always late. for SCHOOL, its me. aniwae, imagine the surprise when i reached admiralty when i saw her already there. it was really a wonderful surprise. i cant believe that i was pissed off at her for being late when there she was, my baby girl waiting for me there on the platform. okay to you maybe its not wonderful, but it meant a lot to me. add that to today's happenings. what happened today you ask?
michy knows me best, and she knows the way to make me happy is to feed me. i'm her bitch. aniwae on sundays, i always get bossed around to do chores so i had to quickly do up my chores to meet her. and so at 2pm i rushed my ass off to amk and took the 135. i sat at the back row and went to 'chop' the seat on the inside when i heard my stomach grumble. and later when michy came aboard, i complained manja2ly to her and said,''eh i hungry''. she then took out a container of instant noodles that she had cooked for me earlier, complete with chopsticks, and said ''surprise!'' how wonderful is that? instant noodles never tasted so good.
you're my miracle. i love you, angel.
oh well lets get started on the lovely stuff i hafta say huh. this week i found out that quite a few people actually do read this blog. i'm kinda glad that you all do...coz i think that me and michy sometimes do get carried away in our own world so i hope this blog could be a medium between us for all of u to see what's happening in our lives. think of it as looking at our lives from far and even tho we dont have time for you all everyday, we are still happy, and that's what friends want rite? for you to be happy! and i want all of you to be happy too. ALL. well to polly and fazli, i'm sorry we havent really been spending time wit you people, i mean its really kinda difficult to hang out wit you all when we are so immersed in love. and its even more difficult when the best friend you have in class is your gf/bf coz then, its like you hang wit them everyday. and its just ONE person. for us its not a bad thing, well its true that only we both can understand what its like. and maybe if you think it from our perspective, you can find some understanding? well, i really hope you girls have fun this wednesday okay! WE LOVE YOU POLLY. and for you gmok, i'm glad things hadnt changed. it just shows that our frenship is timeless. fazli's the best fatboy in the world. bitch.
well lately michy has been having trouble waking up earli in the mornin. i don't blame her, and i'm sorry she doesn't have the right to oversleep in the morning like normal people do, coz i depend on her to wake me. yes its true people, i suck at waking up in the morning. im sure people who went to turi would know. one thing i'm always sorry about is that when i sleep, i'm deaf. i cant wake up even if the building crumbles. ask Kenn. im sorry im so dependant on you to wake me up in the morning. but ure the more responsible one and in this way i can really say, I NEED YOU. its just one of the many things i need you for. thank you for waking me up earli in the morning everyday without fail. you're my sunshine baby.
her comp is spoilt again. i gotta go lend from yanting the cd and go visit the in-laws again. hope i don't spoil their impression of me huh. wish me luck!
lemme tell you two ULTRA wonderful things michy did for me this week. on saturday, we were gonna meet to hang out. so we arranged to meet around 530pm. at 430pm i called her to say that i'm gonna leave house liao so she better get out of the hse or she's dead. then she said that she juz reached home from going out with her parents, and she wants to bathe and CHOOSE clothes and get ready. i tell you if she choose clothes arh; you can go and get a glass of milk and by the time she gets ready, you have cheese! it takes AGES. so i was kinda pissed a lil bit and i said ''aiyah juz wear wad u wearing arh! why u wanna change2" and she asked me to leave hse in like another 15mins. the problem is, the story i told my mom is that i got lessons, and i'm already late coz it supposedly starts at 5pm. so i left my ez-link and went down to the void deck and sat at some bench. 15mins later i came up and said "oh sorry i forgot my ezlink. i walked all the way to admiralty already and i forgot!" my mom was pissed, but at least i did wad michy asked me to.
okay then i started to walk to admiralty, and michy msged me and asked me where i was. so i said i juz left hse and i asked her if she left anot coz if not she's gonna be late. fyi, for DATES, michy is always late. for SCHOOL, its me. aniwae, imagine the surprise when i reached admiralty when i saw her already there. it was really a wonderful surprise. i cant believe that i was pissed off at her for being late when there she was, my baby girl waiting for me there on the platform. okay to you maybe its not wonderful, but it meant a lot to me. add that to today's happenings. what happened today you ask?
michy knows me best, and she knows the way to make me happy is to feed me. i'm her bitch. aniwae on sundays, i always get bossed around to do chores so i had to quickly do up my chores to meet her. and so at 2pm i rushed my ass off to amk and took the 135. i sat at the back row and went to 'chop' the seat on the inside when i heard my stomach grumble. and later when michy came aboard, i complained manja2ly to her and said,''eh i hungry''. she then took out a container of instant noodles that she had cooked for me earlier, complete with chopsticks, and said ''surprise!'' how wonderful is that? instant noodles never tasted so good.
you're my miracle. i love you, angel.
Tuesday, March 15
the not-so-friendly friends.
ghosts of insecurity, stop threatening me. ghosts of loneliness, stop following me. stop haunting me. leave us alone.
Sunday, March 13
Its just emotions, taking me over...
Yo kids. Wads up people. Well oh well, we're back from turi. Eh dun forget to read the entry below this one yar! its the other view about last week. Okay to those who duno, last week my course went on a study trip to Nongsa Island, Turi Beach Resort. Yes DCMD its NONGSA ISLAND. Go check your worksheet. aniwae, well this trip was super relaxed. its super fruitful i guess. i just learnt alot alot of stuff from this trip especially about the people around me. all of you who have been there, i know who you people reali are. its true when you spend your WHOLE day around these people, they show off who they are. and i am glad you all can see the real me too huh. it isnt that different, maybe its not likeable eh?
well as you know it was a honeymoon like thingie. well except for the fact that my bloody room was facing a tree and it like blocks out any possible view of the beach. what a spoiler. Add that to the paparazi deleting kenny's mp3 and leaving only three wonderful songs for him to blast late at night. And at night I am proud to say that i had been lullabied by "Emotions-Destiny's Child, Kongfu Fighting-The Village People, Boulevard of Broken Dreams-Green Day". What more irritating combi would you need? Green Day is okay but try listening to it the WHOLE NIGHT. Add that to Kenny's fear of not being able to see his hand in the dark so the value combo of the night is "Sacrificing my blanket to my baby+kenny's BEST PLAYLIST+LIGHT+Mr. Bean Light shining on us in the morning." Now doesn't that SO make you want to sleep. -burp-
Well I'm so glad the lecturers didn't kick up a big fuss over her sneaking into my room. But i wonder why other people are. You know i think i don't mind being the source of all your anger. As long as Michelle is innocent I'm happy to take your blames. Because its really my fault. I corrupted your beautiful angel. And she truly is one. I'm sorry for that. Now tell me, how many people don't change after starting a relationship? I'm sorry my baby did. I never meant to steal her away. Well i think that sometimes if you're nice to people and they have no one else to blame then, they would forget those moments you were nice to them. And if someone doesn't like you, its natural for them to push their angry and clouded opinions onto others. Its normal, but please you know me better than that.
To a friend, i'm sorry. If two people are angry and they don't express it face to face, they have to wait till someone tells the other rite? well i guess i'm sorry i took so long to talk to u about it. To another friend, you're a buddy man. u're my kia, ure not that bad my man. come to 01 if there's a reshuffle u bloody bitch. drag rhino along oso. u people aint to bad at all huh. leave that pokeball at the door. CHINESE MAT. stop smoking. To lihin, members bud. All the way man. I'm so glad we shared a room buddy. Tell u this guy is the best guy u wanna have around in a trip like this. pawang man. To my wife: Hope you enjoyed this honeymoon. I'm sorry it didn't last. I'm sorry for the times i got angry at you. I'm sorry for the times i changed you. I'm sorry if they thought it was my idea. I'm sorry if they stared at you one kind. I'm sorry if you cried. I'm sorry i hid myself under smoke and ash. But i love you. And that it borderless. It doesn't matter what country we're in, i'll love you just the same. Thank you for spending time with me, the nights and days...and not leave my side, even tho i never asked you to. Thank you. I love you baby girl, you're my one and only.
{p.s. Karaoke was fun.}
I miss Turi. New gains, old losses. Seems it becomes clear.
well as you know it was a honeymoon like thingie. well except for the fact that my bloody room was facing a tree and it like blocks out any possible view of the beach. what a spoiler. Add that to the paparazi deleting kenny's mp3 and leaving only three wonderful songs for him to blast late at night. And at night I am proud to say that i had been lullabied by "Emotions-Destiny's Child, Kongfu Fighting-The Village People, Boulevard of Broken Dreams-Green Day". What more irritating combi would you need? Green Day is okay but try listening to it the WHOLE NIGHT. Add that to Kenny's fear of not being able to see his hand in the dark so the value combo of the night is "Sacrificing my blanket to my baby+kenny's BEST PLAYLIST+LIGHT+Mr. Bean Light shining on us in the morning." Now doesn't that SO make you want to sleep. -burp-
Well I'm so glad the lecturers didn't kick up a big fuss over her sneaking into my room. But i wonder why other people are. You know i think i don't mind being the source of all your anger. As long as Michelle is innocent I'm happy to take your blames. Because its really my fault. I corrupted your beautiful angel. And she truly is one. I'm sorry for that. Now tell me, how many people don't change after starting a relationship? I'm sorry my baby did. I never meant to steal her away. Well i think that sometimes if you're nice to people and they have no one else to blame then, they would forget those moments you were nice to them. And if someone doesn't like you, its natural for them to push their angry and clouded opinions onto others. Its normal, but please you know me better than that.
To a friend, i'm sorry. If two people are angry and they don't express it face to face, they have to wait till someone tells the other rite? well i guess i'm sorry i took so long to talk to u about it. To another friend, you're a buddy man. u're my kia, ure not that bad my man. come to 01 if there's a reshuffle u bloody bitch. drag rhino along oso. u people aint to bad at all huh. leave that pokeball at the door. CHINESE MAT. stop smoking. To lihin, members bud. All the way man. I'm so glad we shared a room buddy. Tell u this guy is the best guy u wanna have around in a trip like this. pawang man. To my wife: Hope you enjoyed this honeymoon. I'm sorry it didn't last. I'm sorry for the times i got angry at you. I'm sorry for the times i changed you. I'm sorry if they thought it was my idea. I'm sorry if they stared at you one kind. I'm sorry if you cried. I'm sorry i hid myself under smoke and ash. But i love you. And that it borderless. It doesn't matter what country we're in, i'll love you just the same. Thank you for spending time with me, the nights and days...and not leave my side, even tho i never asked you to. Thank you. I love you baby girl, you're my one and only.
{p.s. Karaoke was fun.}
I miss Turi. New gains, old losses. Seems it becomes clear.
i'm by your side, no words to speak.
okay. we're back from turi. awww man there's nothing to look forward to anymore. turi was reely fun! haha yeah it was like honeymoon for the two of us... i wonder how yoki and eugene HIMALAYAS haha somehow that reminds me of junxian! well i was thoroughly happy throughout this trip. no assignments, no curfews, no last buses or trains home, NOTHING AT ALL... other than lots and lots of giant mosquitoes! and bees or hornets or bugs in the toilet. HAH. oh did i mention the mosquito netting was quite romantic? HAHA. i still think they should've given us EACH a bed. DET presentation went along fine though all of us were so worried about it. i'm glad we got it together. thanks, all'o ya. OH YES i just wanted to wish ian a very happy 6th month anniversary... we're half a year old! WOOHOO! well thank God we're back in singapore
surprisingly i've kept my eyes open NOT ONLY TO ANDI. i've learnt quite a bit too. i've realised there's no use in 'classifying' the people you dislike. you'll learn to like them sooner or later. moreover, it's not the people we dislike or hate, it's their actions. i found out i cant exactly dislike anybody for a long time... when i do like them i regret for ever judging them... and when i dislike them again, i regret for ever trusting them. misunderstandings occur all the time, and i'll try to understand by not pinning labels on them. i'll try very hard. it was quite a painful lesson, but i've learnt. i've never said this but i'm sorry ng, and other people i have classified, and people i've classifed by assuming the classification of others.
other than that, i've learnt that there's no use in being nice to anyone in particular to make up for some reason unknown to you, his or her dislike towards you. i've tried it over and over, but it never seems to work. this was the most painful cuz these people will eek out all the faults in you when actually, the one tiny- i wont say fault, but mindset in them would give them all the answers. if you just keep trying, you'll fall apart from the edges of their sword; without even knowing why. if my tears bring them satisfaction, rest assured; i will cry. readers: please dont get upset over this. the first was really only self-examination, and the second only goes out to one. to those who feel offended, i apologise.
well like everybody else, haha well or maybe unlike those who left their loved ones in
Sunday, March 6
I Don't Mind Spending Everyday...Out on the corner in the pouring rain...bla bla bla
hey there people!!! miss us? well this song above was sung by her...and that IS odd. in case you are wondering...no its no emo. Its maroon 5...hah! Its true love misleads us...look at our choice of songs! Hmm...eh wish us a very happy 6TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!! feewit! i cant believe it either. ''unbelieveable? believe it''.
to you:
the past 6 months have been a new point in my life. caring for you has taught me so much. its so different that what i imagined it to be. love is something so difficult to explain. it may be subjective to us as we think we love each other but heck, who cares if it is? im just so happy as long as i am with you together experiencing this stupid little world of ours that we so immerse ourselves with. The past few months has been filled with laughter, tears, hugs, and lots and lots of memories. 6 months ago was when, you ask? DCMD people: remember ice-skating day? yar. that was it.
i just wanna set things straight for some points. firstly i wanna say sorry. sorry for being un-boyfriendish to u sometimes. sorry for all the times i got angry at you, even when you were doing something nice for me. sorry for not being able to look through your failures to see your true intentions. sorry for not saying thank yous when you do stuff for me. sorry for not showing you how much i love you every second of the day. sorry for learning to think for myself although its a good thing. sorry for making a fool out of you among friends. sorry for ridiculing all your thoughts and feelings. sorry for making you haf to wake me up every morning and sometimes i am still late to skool. sorry for making you wait for me when i am late. sorry for choosing the pillow, cigarettes, my friends, music, PS2s, Gundams, Drumkits, Car models, FHMs, or anything else over you sometimes by immersing myself in my own world for even a split second. sorry if i suan you with your supposedly existing envious thoughts. sorry for not having money. sorry for not being able to takecare of myself. sorry for falling sick. sorry for being a bad boy and having the past that i didnt want. sorry for falling asleep at the wrong times. sorry for not getting you any anniversary present this month. sorry for expecting and seemingly taking you for granted. sorry for rushing you. sorry for the disturbance that day at bidadari cemetery. sorry for forcing you to eat. sorry for my siblings making fun of ''fun'' and my dad for making fun of your weight. sorry for ever failing to show you that i had made a decision, or an action, that has shown you for even one moment that i don't...truly LOVE YOU. because i do. and even if this love we have is a lie or a mistake, i don't ever want to learn that it is. i don't ever want to open my eyes.
To the one above:
Please don't take me away. Please don't divide us. Don't let this feeling stop. Coz you're the only one who can mould a path for us. You know what i wish for everytime i break that chopstick in half. You know what i wish for when i talk to you every prayer time. I'm sorry oh almighty, sometimes it scares me that i become so immersed in her that i forget about you. That sometimes i thought that love can be so beautiful that she can make things alright. I'm sorry. I'm sure that you sent her to me to make my life beautiful. I know you sent her me when i failed my o's. I know, because on that day when i failed science, i talked to you in your home. I went to the mosque and i said: ''Oh God, I'm at your mercy. I wish with all my heart, that you don't crumble my life. I'd do anything. Anything, if you'd just save me from this.''
I wished for him to not make me fail in life, to at least have an education and make my parents proud. Today, im in a 13-point course in poly even though i failed my science. I wished that if xxxx was not the one who you wanted me to have, then send me my ''one''. The one who is gonna make me happy my whole life. My angel among humans. My baby among friends. You have granted me a beautiful loving girlfriend who made my life better. Thank you oh great one. Please don't ever take these two miracles away. They are all i have.
Michelle Fun Lai Ling, I want to be there your whole life. I wanna say this but i dunno how true it may be, and i wish it was but: I WANNA MARRY YOU. Its now written here in 1s and 0s. I wanna marry you. I cant right now, but in the future. I wanna marry you. To all of you, this girl, i CHOP oreadi arh. too bad, you losers.
Happy 6th month anniversary. That's half a year for you.
to you:
the past 6 months have been a new point in my life. caring for you has taught me so much. its so different that what i imagined it to be. love is something so difficult to explain. it may be subjective to us as we think we love each other but heck, who cares if it is? im just so happy as long as i am with you together experiencing this stupid little world of ours that we so immerse ourselves with. The past few months has been filled with laughter, tears, hugs, and lots and lots of memories. 6 months ago was when, you ask? DCMD people: remember ice-skating day? yar. that was it.
i just wanna set things straight for some points. firstly i wanna say sorry. sorry for being un-boyfriendish to u sometimes. sorry for all the times i got angry at you, even when you were doing something nice for me. sorry for not being able to look through your failures to see your true intentions. sorry for not saying thank yous when you do stuff for me. sorry for not showing you how much i love you every second of the day. sorry for learning to think for myself although its a good thing. sorry for making a fool out of you among friends. sorry for ridiculing all your thoughts and feelings. sorry for making you haf to wake me up every morning and sometimes i am still late to skool. sorry for making you wait for me when i am late. sorry for choosing the pillow, cigarettes, my friends, music, PS2s, Gundams, Drumkits, Car models, FHMs, or anything else over you sometimes by immersing myself in my own world for even a split second. sorry if i suan you with your supposedly existing envious thoughts. sorry for not having money. sorry for not being able to takecare of myself. sorry for falling sick. sorry for being a bad boy and having the past that i didnt want. sorry for falling asleep at the wrong times. sorry for not getting you any anniversary present this month. sorry for expecting and seemingly taking you for granted. sorry for rushing you. sorry for the disturbance that day at bidadari cemetery. sorry for forcing you to eat. sorry for my siblings making fun of ''fun'' and my dad for making fun of your weight. sorry for ever failing to show you that i had made a decision, or an action, that has shown you for even one moment that i don't...truly LOVE YOU. because i do. and even if this love we have is a lie or a mistake, i don't ever want to learn that it is. i don't ever want to open my eyes.
To the one above:
Please don't take me away. Please don't divide us. Don't let this feeling stop. Coz you're the only one who can mould a path for us. You know what i wish for everytime i break that chopstick in half. You know what i wish for when i talk to you every prayer time. I'm sorry oh almighty, sometimes it scares me that i become so immersed in her that i forget about you. That sometimes i thought that love can be so beautiful that she can make things alright. I'm sorry. I'm sure that you sent her to me to make my life beautiful. I know you sent her me when i failed my o's. I know, because on that day when i failed science, i talked to you in your home. I went to the mosque and i said: ''Oh God, I'm at your mercy. I wish with all my heart, that you don't crumble my life. I'd do anything. Anything, if you'd just save me from this.''
I wished for him to not make me fail in life, to at least have an education and make my parents proud. Today, im in a 13-point course in poly even though i failed my science. I wished that if xxxx was not the one who you wanted me to have, then send me my ''one''. The one who is gonna make me happy my whole life. My angel among humans. My baby among friends. You have granted me a beautiful loving girlfriend who made my life better. Thank you oh great one. Please don't ever take these two miracles away. They are all i have.
Michelle Fun Lai Ling, I want to be there your whole life. I wanna say this but i dunno how true it may be, and i wish it was but: I WANNA MARRY YOU. Its now written here in 1s and 0s. I wanna marry you. I cant right now, but in the future. I wanna marry you. To all of you, this girl, i CHOP oreadi arh. too bad, you losers.
Happy 6th month anniversary. That's half a year for you.
Sunday, February 27
Kau Bina Mahligai Dari Airmata...
oh hey there u all. i re-found this song on my fren's comp in skool and it juz touches my heart. like it always has. i juz haf a reali soft spot for old song with guitars. i duno why. call it a string fetish but yeah. haha. and i juz find this song, so very the sad. so im juz gonna put it and translate it la. its damn sweet...hope u like it. Dedicate to my fren lihin...this one's for u man. To the rest, just scroll over the malay lyrics if u cant understand it for nuts. Oh yes. I love michybaby! Dun say i din write abt u.
Mahligai Dari Airmataku- Lestari
izinkan diriku meluahkan rasa
maafkanlah aku andai kau terasa
biarku paparkan apa yang terjadi
moga engkau tak ulangi
sungguh takku sangka kau berpaling tadah
setelah lamanya menjalinkan cinta
dalam diam diam kau sudah berpunya
tanpa aku menyedari semuanya
aku mendoakan agar kau bahagia
bersama si dia insan yang kau suka
percintaan kita tak sampai ke mana
setakat di bibir saja sayang
kau bina mahligai dari air mata
yang jatuh berderai di wajah sepiku
hancurnya hatiku bisa tak terkata
terhumban rasa diriku
oh aduhai ku masih ingati
janji manis dan saat romantis
kau pintaku supaya setia akhirnya
kau yang berubah
oh tuhanku tabahkan hatiku
temukanku dengan ketenangan
jiwa ini dibelasah rindu tetapi
apa dayaku
ku cuba pejam mata tapi tak terlena
keranaku masih teringat padamu
begitu payahnya nak ku melupakan
oh pernahkan engkau fikirkan, oh sayang?
Translation:
Palace Of Teardrops
Please allow me to speak my heart
Forgive me if this hurts you
Let me explain what had happened
So that you won't repeat it
I really never expected you to go back on your word
After we had built this love for so long
In secret, you were attached
And i never realized it all
I pray for your happiness
With the one that you love
For our love has gone to nowhere
Except on our lips as words
You build a palace from tears
That trickle down my lonely face
My heart is crushed with unmentionable pain
I feel so thrown away
Oh how i still remember
The sweet promises and the romantic moments
You asked me to be faithful to you, in the end
You were the one that changed
Oh God grant my heart strength
Meet me with solace
My spirit is beaten by longing but
What can i do
I close my eyes but i cant sleep
Because i keep thinking about you
Its so difficult to forget you
Have you ever thought of that, my love?
Okay that's all. I just wanna say to everyone out there, think before you choose to leave someone. Especially after being with them for so long. In love, i believe that there is reali no such thing as being ''bored''. Even if you are then its temporal. Realize that the person you are in a relationship has a heart, and when you realize that you cannot be with someone because it sickens you to be with them, then don't hold back from leaving. Don't wait until it drags until you spend more than a few months with them. If you don't see a future, then deal with it. Talk about it. Holding on then letting go later will hurt more. To those hurt, move on. Don't be crushed because of one mistake. You can't stop trying. Go on k. I'll support u. May you all find the one who is there for u, and won't leave your side. For i think i've found mine. Only time will tell. Till then this love isnt just on my lips, but in everything i do. Your love empowers me. Cya guys soon. Tc huh.
Mahligai Dari Airmataku- Lestari
izinkan diriku meluahkan rasa
maafkanlah aku andai kau terasa
biarku paparkan apa yang terjadi
moga engkau tak ulangi
sungguh takku sangka kau berpaling tadah
setelah lamanya menjalinkan cinta
dalam diam diam kau sudah berpunya
tanpa aku menyedari semuanya
aku mendoakan agar kau bahagia
bersama si dia insan yang kau suka
percintaan kita tak sampai ke mana
setakat di bibir saja sayang
kau bina mahligai dari air mata
yang jatuh berderai di wajah sepiku
hancurnya hatiku bisa tak terkata
terhumban rasa diriku
oh aduhai ku masih ingati
janji manis dan saat romantis
kau pintaku supaya setia akhirnya
kau yang berubah
oh tuhanku tabahkan hatiku
temukanku dengan ketenangan
jiwa ini dibelasah rindu tetapi
apa dayaku
ku cuba pejam mata tapi tak terlena
keranaku masih teringat padamu
begitu payahnya nak ku melupakan
oh pernahkan engkau fikirkan, oh sayang?
Translation:
Palace Of Teardrops
Please allow me to speak my heart
Forgive me if this hurts you
Let me explain what had happened
So that you won't repeat it
I really never expected you to go back on your word
After we had built this love for so long
In secret, you were attached
And i never realized it all
I pray for your happiness
With the one that you love
For our love has gone to nowhere
Except on our lips as words
You build a palace from tears
That trickle down my lonely face
My heart is crushed with unmentionable pain
I feel so thrown away
Oh how i still remember
The sweet promises and the romantic moments
You asked me to be faithful to you, in the end
You were the one that changed
Oh God grant my heart strength
Meet me with solace
My spirit is beaten by longing but
What can i do
I close my eyes but i cant sleep
Because i keep thinking about you
Its so difficult to forget you
Have you ever thought of that, my love?
Okay that's all. I just wanna say to everyone out there, think before you choose to leave someone. Especially after being with them for so long. In love, i believe that there is reali no such thing as being ''bored''. Even if you are then its temporal. Realize that the person you are in a relationship has a heart, and when you realize that you cannot be with someone because it sickens you to be with them, then don't hold back from leaving. Don't wait until it drags until you spend more than a few months with them. If you don't see a future, then deal with it. Talk about it. Holding on then letting go later will hurt more. To those hurt, move on. Don't be crushed because of one mistake. You can't stop trying. Go on k. I'll support u. May you all find the one who is there for u, and won't leave your side. For i think i've found mine. Only time will tell. Till then this love isnt just on my lips, but in everything i do. Your love empowers me. Cya guys soon. Tc huh.
Wednesday, February 23
All These Wishes and Dreams I've Had...
Hey there people. Have you ever had the urge to write an entry that is so real that you just point out the bare facts bluntly. Okay here's what gonna happen now. However no names have been mentioned. If you are kepo enough then you may jigsaw the fact to the people around you to proclaim that ANDI TOLD YOU A SECRET. which i didn't. Okay here's what i want to say:
-I have low white blood count and that is why i fall sick so often.
-I don't show it when I'm sick coz i want to spend time with you.
-Trust your child. Your child does their respective duties no matter how much they hang out.
-Stop labelling people who hang out alot as being slackers. We have a life.
-Your friend wasnt kidding when he tells you that there's something wrong with him.
-If someone doesn't want to be your friend, there's something wrong with you. Find the reason and fix it.
-If someone doesn't like you, don't push it. Don't expect it. Leave them and deal with it. If a dog sits down in front of you and beg, even tho it doesnt make noise, you know it wants something. Just walk away. If the owner wants to feed you, he'll come to you. He knows when to feed you and if he doesn't, that's coz he's not your master rite? Sorry for the dog context.
-I still want an apology.
-You don't apologize for the things that have been triggered after an event. You apologize for the event. I won't say oh im sorry our house burnt down, when you were the one who lit that candle.
-I want a band that gigs. If you showcase an original song on your first ever gig, the chances of it failing to impress will be higher than you attracting peoples' attention by playing a difficult cover. I want a band that is united, spirited, and gives in to one another. Not one that apologizes coz he refuses to accept opinions.
-Relationships, bands, class cliques and family are all actually working in a group as ONE. If you do one thing on behalf of someone, then its as good as the whole group doing it. Unless its an apology.
-Accepting each other and their opinions, and changing yourself to make your partner happy, is a gesture of love. Learn it.
-Going out with other people's girlfriends' without their consent is wrong.
-Being quiet is not a wrong thing. Talking only about yourself is.
-Bringing a bf/gf into your room doesn't mean you're gonna have sex.
-Don't give your heart away to people who don't deserve it. Especially if you're pretty. Don't rush into love without knowing the other person. You'll get hurt.
-I love my girlfriend. No matter what you want to believe.
-I am poor. Often when I say I'm not hungry, its coz i have no money to eat. And i don't want to lend your money. So be quiet and pretend u believe me. No i'm not referring to my gf.
-Best friends who have moved on are nothing but HI-BYE friends. Nothing more.
-My girlfriend misses her best friend. Can anyone tell her for me?
-I hate biased lecturers.
-Gay lecturers are actually nice people. Just be careful when you place your back to them, if not they are really nice people.
-As amazed as i am with the California Arts, I am grateful Singapore Poly has a great design course that i am in. I hope all of you remember that. Afterall, there is always something better for everything that you have. You just have to make what you have the best.
-Be careful in whatever you do. If a thought pops in your head, use your brain without your heart. And accept the decision and deal with it.
Okay if i have any other thoughts i'll put it. Cya people soon k. I'm kinda sick. I'm on MC! ciao.
-I have low white blood count and that is why i fall sick so often.
-I don't show it when I'm sick coz i want to spend time with you.
-Trust your child. Your child does their respective duties no matter how much they hang out.
-Stop labelling people who hang out alot as being slackers. We have a life.
-Your friend wasnt kidding when he tells you that there's something wrong with him.
-If someone doesn't want to be your friend, there's something wrong with you. Find the reason and fix it.
-If someone doesn't like you, don't push it. Don't expect it. Leave them and deal with it. If a dog sits down in front of you and beg, even tho it doesnt make noise, you know it wants something. Just walk away. If the owner wants to feed you, he'll come to you. He knows when to feed you and if he doesn't, that's coz he's not your master rite? Sorry for the dog context.
-I still want an apology.
-You don't apologize for the things that have been triggered after an event. You apologize for the event. I won't say oh im sorry our house burnt down, when you were the one who lit that candle.
-I want a band that gigs. If you showcase an original song on your first ever gig, the chances of it failing to impress will be higher than you attracting peoples' attention by playing a difficult cover. I want a band that is united, spirited, and gives in to one another. Not one that apologizes coz he refuses to accept opinions.
-Relationships, bands, class cliques and family are all actually working in a group as ONE. If you do one thing on behalf of someone, then its as good as the whole group doing it. Unless its an apology.
-Accepting each other and their opinions, and changing yourself to make your partner happy, is a gesture of love. Learn it.
-Going out with other people's girlfriends' without their consent is wrong.
-Being quiet is not a wrong thing. Talking only about yourself is.
-Bringing a bf/gf into your room doesn't mean you're gonna have sex.
-Don't give your heart away to people who don't deserve it. Especially if you're pretty. Don't rush into love without knowing the other person. You'll get hurt.
-I love my girlfriend. No matter what you want to believe.
-I am poor. Often when I say I'm not hungry, its coz i have no money to eat. And i don't want to lend your money. So be quiet and pretend u believe me. No i'm not referring to my gf.
-Best friends who have moved on are nothing but HI-BYE friends. Nothing more.
-My girlfriend misses her best friend. Can anyone tell her for me?
-I hate biased lecturers.
-Gay lecturers are actually nice people. Just be careful when you place your back to them, if not they are really nice people.
-As amazed as i am with the California Arts, I am grateful Singapore Poly has a great design course that i am in. I hope all of you remember that. Afterall, there is always something better for everything that you have. You just have to make what you have the best.
-Be careful in whatever you do. If a thought pops in your head, use your brain without your heart. And accept the decision and deal with it.
Okay if i have any other thoughts i'll put it. Cya people soon k. I'm kinda sick. I'm on MC! ciao.
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