FiNd A WaY...

hey there. wad up people? we're back after a week of no blogging huh. oh i wanna tell you that this week is a good week. by good i mean as in its not bad, but there had been better weeks for us. hmm im almost sad this week is over but im sure there are many more wonderful weeks ahead in this life, don't you think so?

oh well lets get started on the lovely stuff i hafta say huh. this week i found out that quite a few people actually do read this blog. i'm kinda glad that you all do...coz i think that me and michy sometimes do get carried away in our own world so i hope this blog could be a medium between us for all of u to see what's happening in our lives. think of it as looking at our lives from far and even tho we dont have time for you all everyday, we are still happy, and that's what friends want rite? for you to be happy! and i want all of you to be happy too. ALL. well to polly and fazli, i'm sorry we havent really been spending time wit you people, i mean its really kinda difficult to hang out wit you all when we are so immersed in love. and its even more difficult when the best friend you have in class is your gf/bf coz then, its like you hang wit them everyday. and its just ONE person. for us its not a bad thing, well its true that only we both can understand what its like. and maybe if you think it from our perspective, you can find some understanding? well, i really hope you girls have fun this wednesday okay! WE LOVE YOU POLLY. and for you gmok, i'm glad things hadnt changed. it just shows that our frenship is timeless. fazli's the best fatboy in the world. bitch.

well lately michy has been having trouble waking up earli in the mornin. i don't blame her, and i'm sorry she doesn't have the right to oversleep in the morning like normal people do, coz i depend on her to wake me. yes its true people, i suck at waking up in the morning. im sure people who went to turi would know. one thing i'm always sorry about is that when i sleep, i'm deaf. i cant wake up even if the building crumbles. ask Kenn. im sorry im so dependant on you to wake me up in the morning. but ure the more responsible one and in this way i can really say, I NEED YOU. its just one of the many things i need you for. thank you for waking me up earli in the morning everyday without fail. you're my sunshine baby.

her comp is spoilt again. i gotta go lend from yanting the cd and go visit the in-laws again. hope i don't spoil their impression of me huh. wish me luck!

lemme tell you two ULTRA wonderful things michy did for me this week. on saturday, we were gonna meet to hang out. so we arranged to meet around 530pm. at 430pm i called her to say that i'm gonna leave house liao so she better get out of the hse or she's dead. then she said that she juz reached home from going out with her parents, and she wants to bathe and CHOOSE clothes and get ready. i tell you if she choose clothes arh; you can go and get a glass of milk and by the time she gets ready, you have cheese! it takes AGES. so i was kinda pissed a lil bit and i said ''aiyah juz wear wad u wearing arh! why u wanna change2" and she asked me to leave hse in like another 15mins. the problem is, the story i told my mom is that i got lessons, and i'm already late coz it supposedly starts at 5pm. so i left my ez-link and went down to the void deck and sat at some bench. 15mins later i came up and said "oh sorry i forgot my ezlink. i walked all the way to admiralty already and i forgot!" my mom was pissed, but at least i did wad michy asked me to.

okay then i started to walk to admiralty, and michy msged me and asked me where i was. so i said i juz left hse and i asked her if she left anot coz if not she's gonna be late. fyi, for DATES, michy is always late. for SCHOOL, its me. aniwae, imagine the surprise when i reached admiralty when i saw her already there. it was really a wonderful surprise. i cant believe that i was pissed off at her for being late when there she was, my baby girl waiting for me there on the platform. okay to you maybe its not wonderful, but it meant a lot to me. add that to today's happenings. what happened today you ask?

michy knows me best, and she knows the way to make me happy is to feed me. i'm her bitch. aniwae on sundays, i always get bossed around to do chores so i had to quickly do up my chores to meet her. and so at 2pm i rushed my ass off to amk and took the 135. i sat at the back row and went to 'chop' the seat on the inside when i heard my stomach grumble. and later when michy came aboard, i complained manja2ly to her and said,''eh i hungry''. she then took out a container of instant noodles that she had cooked for me earlier, complete with chopsticks, and said ''surprise!'' how wonderful is that? instant noodles never tasted so good.

you're my miracle. i love you, angel.

the not-so-friendly friends.

ghosts of insecurity, stop threatening me. ghosts of loneliness, stop following me. stop haunting me. leave us alone.

Its just emotions, taking me over...

Yo kids. Wads up people. Well oh well, we're back from turi. Eh dun forget to read the entry below this one yar! its the other view about last week. Okay to those who duno, last week my course went on a study trip to Nongsa Island, Turi Beach Resort. Yes DCMD its NONGSA ISLAND. Go check your worksheet. aniwae, well this trip was super relaxed. its super fruitful i guess. i just learnt alot alot of stuff from this trip especially about the people around me. all of you who have been there, i know who you people reali are. its true when you spend your WHOLE day around these people, they show off who they are. and i am glad you all can see the real me too huh. it isnt that different, maybe its not likeable eh?

well as you know it was a honeymoon like thingie. well except for the fact that my bloody room was facing a tree and it like blocks out any possible view of the beach. what a spoiler. Add that to the paparazi deleting kenny's mp3 and leaving only three wonderful songs for him to blast late at night. And at night I am proud to say that i had been lullabied by "Emotions-Destiny's Child, Kongfu Fighting-The Village People, Boulevard of Broken Dreams-Green Day". What more irritating combi would you need? Green Day is okay but try listening to it the WHOLE NIGHT. Add that to Kenny's fear of not being able to see his hand in the dark so the value combo of the night is "Sacrificing my blanket to my baby+kenny's BEST PLAYLIST+LIGHT+Mr. Bean Light shining on us in the morning." Now doesn't that SO make you want to sleep. -burp-

Well I'm so glad the lecturers didn't kick up a big fuss over her sneaking into my room. But i wonder why other people are. You know i think i don't mind being the source of all your anger. As long as Michelle is innocent I'm happy to take your blames. Because its really my fault. I corrupted your beautiful angel. And she truly is one. I'm sorry for that. Now tell me, how many people don't change after starting a relationship? I'm sorry my baby did. I never meant to steal her away. Well i think that sometimes if you're nice to people and they have no one else to blame then, they would forget those moments you were nice to them. And if someone doesn't like you, its natural for them to push their angry and clouded opinions onto others. Its normal, but please you know me better than that.

To a friend, i'm sorry. If two people are angry and they don't express it face to face, they have to wait till someone tells the other rite? well i guess i'm sorry i took so long to talk to u about it. To another friend, you're a buddy man. u're my kia, ure not that bad my man. come to 01 if there's a reshuffle u bloody bitch. drag rhino along oso. u people aint to bad at all huh. leave that pokeball at the door. CHINESE MAT. stop smoking. To lihin, members bud. All the way man. I'm so glad we shared a room buddy. Tell u this guy is the best guy u wanna have around in a trip like this. pawang man. To my wife: Hope you enjoyed this honeymoon. I'm sorry it didn't last. I'm sorry for the times i got angry at you. I'm sorry for the times i changed you. I'm sorry if they thought it was my idea. I'm sorry if they stared at you one kind. I'm sorry if you cried. I'm sorry i hid myself under smoke and ash. But i love you. And that it borderless. It doesn't matter what country we're in, i'll love you just the same. Thank you for spending time with me, the nights and days...and not leave my side, even tho i never asked you to. Thank you. I love you baby girl, you're my one and only.

{p.s. Karaoke was fun.}

I miss Turi. New gains, old losses. Seems it becomes clear.

i'm by your side, no words to speak.

okay. we're back from turi. awww man there's nothing to look forward to anymore. turi was reely fun! haha yeah it was like honeymoon for the two of us... i wonder how yoki and eugene spent their time *wink wink!* i'd say it was just timely for our 6TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY! woohoo! haha... yes in case y'all dunno it was on the 6th of March! hurry tag us a happy anniversary! thank God this trip was reely relaxed... OTHER THAN THE TREK THROUGH THE HIMALAYAS haha somehow that reminds me of junxian! well i was thoroughly happy throughout this trip. no assignments, no curfews, no last buses or trains home, NOTHING AT ALL... other than lots and lots of giant mosquitoes! and bees or hornets or bugs in the toilet. HAH. oh did i mention the mosquito netting was quite romantic? HAHA. i still think they should've given us EACH a bed. DET presentation went along fine though all of us were so worried about it. i'm glad we got it together. thanks, all'o ya. OH YES i just wanted to wish ian a very happy 6th month anniversary... we're half a year old! WOOHOO! well thank God we're back in singapore where cigarettes arent $1.50 for 20 sticks. thank God. can you see your lungs blacken 500% of the usual? oh well i was hoping to do some shopping over there or at least get my hair all plaid up and pretty but NO. i only got nyam nyam snacks from the duty free store. HAH. oh dont worry peeps, i'll try to upload the pics we took! didnt spend much time with anyone else in the trip... but well i must say i got to know some people a tad better and i'm glad i did.

surprisingly i've kept my eyes open NOT ONLY TO ANDI. i've learnt quite a bit too. i've realised there's no use in 'classifying' the people you dislike. you'll learn to like them sooner or later. moreover, it's not the people we dislike or hate, it's their actions. i found out i cant exactly dislike anybody for a long time... when i do like them i regret for ever judging them... and when i dislike them again, i regret for ever trusting them. misunderstandings occur all the time, and i'll try to understand by not pinning labels on them. i'll try very hard. it was quite a painful lesson, but i've learnt. i've never said this but i'm sorry ng, and other people i have classified, and people i've classifed by assuming the classification of others.

other than that, i've learnt that there's no use in being nice to anyone in particular to make up for some reason unknown to you, his or her dislike towards you. i've tried it over and over, but it never seems to work. this was the most painful cuz these people will eek out all the faults in you when actually, the one tiny- i wont say fault, but mindset in them would give them all the answers. if you just keep trying, you'll fall apart from the edges of their sword; without even knowing why. if my tears bring them satisfaction, rest assured; i will cry. readers: please dont get upset over this. the first was really only self-examination, and the second only goes out to one. to those who feel offended, i apologise.

well like everybody else, haha well or maybe unlike those who left their loved ones in singapore, I MISS TURI! 5 whole days with ian just isnt enough huh! yah i miss manje-manje-ing with him though he's reely bony... HAHA! okay dont puke now, i'll stop. thanks DCMD, it's been a great trip. lastly, i wanna apologise to my best friend polly... i had a great trip, and i havent been here for you cuz i've been so busy. let's go on a trip! my holidays are in about half a month... call me yeah? i love you girl.

I Don't Mind Spending Everyday...Out on the corner in the pouring rain...bla bla bla

hey there people!!! miss us? well this song above was sung by her...and that IS odd. in case you are wondering...no its no emo. Its maroon 5...hah! Its true love misleads us...look at our choice of songs! Hmm...eh wish us a very happy 6TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!! feewit! i cant believe it either. ''unbelieveable? believe it''.

to you:
the past 6 months have been a new point in my life. caring for you has taught me so much. its so different that what i imagined it to be. love is something so difficult to explain. it may be subjective to us as we think we love each other but heck, who cares if it is? im just so happy as long as i am with you together experiencing this stupid little world of ours that we so immerse ourselves with. The past few months has been filled with laughter, tears, hugs, and lots and lots of memories. 6 months ago was when, you ask? DCMD people: remember ice-skating day? yar. that was it.

i just wanna set things straight for some points. firstly i wanna say sorry. sorry for being un-boyfriendish to u sometimes. sorry for all the times i got angry at you, even when you were doing something nice for me. sorry for not being able to look through your failures to see your true intentions. sorry for not saying thank yous when you do stuff for me. sorry for not showing you how much i love you every second of the day. sorry for learning to think for myself although its a good thing. sorry for making a fool out of you among friends. sorry for ridiculing all your thoughts and feelings. sorry for making you haf to wake me up every morning and sometimes i am still late to skool. sorry for making you wait for me when i am late. sorry for choosing the pillow, cigarettes, my friends, music, PS2s, Gundams, Drumkits, Car models, FHMs, or anything else over you sometimes by immersing myself in my own world for even a split second. sorry if i suan you with your supposedly existing envious thoughts. sorry for not having money. sorry for not being able to takecare of myself. sorry for falling sick. sorry for being a bad boy and having the past that i didnt want. sorry for falling asleep at the wrong times. sorry for not getting you any anniversary present this month. sorry for expecting and seemingly taking you for granted. sorry for rushing you. sorry for the disturbance that day at bidadari cemetery. sorry for forcing you to eat. sorry for my siblings making fun of ''fun'' and my dad for making fun of your weight. sorry for ever failing to show you that i had made a decision, or an action, that has shown you for even one moment that i don't...truly LOVE YOU. because i do. and even if this love we have is a lie or a mistake, i don't ever want to learn that it is. i don't ever want to open my eyes.

To the one above:
Please don't take me away. Please don't divide us. Don't let this feeling stop. Coz you're the only one who can mould a path for us. You know what i wish for everytime i break that chopstick in half. You know what i wish for when i talk to you every prayer time. I'm sorry oh almighty, sometimes it scares me that i become so immersed in her that i forget about you. That sometimes i thought that love can be so beautiful that she can make things alright. I'm sorry. I'm sure that you sent her to me to make my life beautiful. I know you sent her me when i failed my o's. I know, because on that day when i failed science, i talked to you in your home. I went to the mosque and i said: ''Oh God, I'm at your mercy. I wish with all my heart, that you don't crumble my life. I'd do anything. Anything, if you'd just save me from this.''

I wished for him to not make me fail in life, to at least have an education and make my parents proud. Today, im in a 13-point course in poly even though i failed my science. I wished that if xxxx was not the one who you wanted me to have, then send me my ''one''. The one who is gonna make me happy my whole life. My angel among humans. My baby among friends. You have granted me a beautiful loving girlfriend who made my life better. Thank you oh great one. Please don't ever take these two miracles away. They are all i have.

Michelle Fun Lai Ling, I want to be there your whole life. I wanna say this but i dunno how true it may be, and i wish it was but: I WANNA MARRY YOU. Its now written here in 1s and 0s. I wanna marry you. I cant right now, but in the future. I wanna marry you. To all of you, this girl, i CHOP oreadi arh. too bad, you losers.

Happy 6th month anniversary. That's half a year for you.