Fallen oh flying man.

And there I see you fall all the way down to the bottom, just like the others that I classify like the unimportant case files of my daily life. Where you will remain just like another, nothing special left about you.

They say that if you were flying so high, one day your wings might melt in the sun, and you would fall to the ground; just like the flight of Icarus.

I know what your intentions are, and it disgusts me with the fact that even though you try so hard to put forward that oh you-were-my-best-one imagery, and blurting out phrases to your heart's content, you have total disregard and 0% respect for her and her life-after-you, which she fought so hard to create. Exploiting the right emotional buttons to press, your manipulative nature should be criminal. How can you love someone if you have no respect for them? Shouldn't these people have the right to their own life and love, and move on? Human beings, we move on you know. You were the past, and there's one too many reasons as to why you should stay there.

I shouldn't blame you, for even though you're in transit to adulthood, clearly your mentality and EQ is still stuck in the adolescent years. And judging by the fact that you used the bike and dangled it like a toy in front of a baby, you're really cute.

You can take your poser untrailed bike and shove it, and keep your hopes and dreams of your make-believe childish love rekindling while you're at it. How disgraceful that I ever thought you were in my same league.

Because normally, people are guilty until proven innocent but this time, I believed you to be innocent. And now you're guilty.

Your university application.

Hai...your university application.

I know it was difficult for me to accept the fact that I did give in to my siblings just so that they can have the privilege of going to uni to fulfill their dreams. And it was difficult to think that I would be just another young and green CPL in just another neighbourhood. But I made it to SGT, and I made it to A-div. I guess the greedy part of me just wanted to be the youngest INSP...because quite frankly the shameless part of me isn't afraid to admit that I was a bright young kid, that just screwed up here and there. I should be up there! I should be going to uni too! But life isn't always fair like that.

I'm sorry if you felt that I am holding you back from pursuing your dreams to go and have your degree. I guess I was just worried about one too many things; if you'd be happy with just another man in blue who earns just nice to be comfortable for a family; or whether our one year of relationship's foundation would be strong enough to stand the time apart when you're juggling your studies and work in the next two; but i came to realize that the driving force behind all these, once again...is you.

Like what I said earlier, these expectations of how I'm supposed to be, the best for you as portrayed in this blog. According to these historical evidences, I should be the best! What kind of promise would I be making if I cannot be the very best myself?

I can however promise you one thing. I will be here, by your side. I have waited for miracles my whole life, its time for me to fulfill them. Just as long as if what I'm planning to set aside for my future will work out, where in future should I fail along the line, someone will tell my kids about the amount of sacrifice I have put in for our family's future, and someone will tell my in-laws that its not that I did not want to be the best to be at level with their daughter, but because I had my hands full of responsibilities.

My responsibilities. As a son, a brother, and as your loving boyfriend. Won't you please, just somebody, just tell them for me, that I was a good man, and how much I sacrificed for them. All these plans I give in, to see them soar.

Its not easy to put your dreams to fly on hold, but love, makes it easier.

Sacrifices, are never easy. I should know that by now.

I wish you all the best lily. Hope your application gets through ok! Its time for you to fly for me! =)